Cat Bert Comic Strips
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66 Results for Cat Bert
View 1 - 10 results for cat bert comic strips. Discover the best "Cat Bert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 17,
1999
Tags #disguised alice, #hat, #giant hat, #parking space, #authrized, #hire, #cat bert
Transcript
The boss interviews a disguised Alice. The boss says, "I'm prerpared to offer you $120,000 per year plus a parking space for your gigantic hat." Alice pulls ofer her hat and glasses and says, "Ha ha! It is I, Alice! I accept your offer for a higher-paying job!" Catbert takes of the boss mask and says, "ha ha! It is I, Catbert! I'm not authorized to hire anyone!" Alice says, "#!*ing cat!"
Tuesday February 16,
1999
Tags #cat bert, #hr dorector, #nput of employees, #morons, #sing loudly, #thinking, #pinball wizard
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"
Saturday August 21,
1999
Tags #cat bert, #evil, #eliminate traces, #individuality, #computer wallpaper, #helium
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "In order to eliminate all traces of individuality..." Dilbert reads, "All computer wallpaper must be the same." Dilbert thinks, "What next?" Catbert thinks, "In theory, with helium, the employees would all sound alike."
Monday March 09,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #smell, #suspected, #stopped, #neighbor, #cat, #trial, #pat, #pet
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dilbert asks, "How was your day, Dogbert?" Dogbert sniffs the air and asks, "Hey! What's that smell?" Dogbert smells Dilbert's hand and says, "Just as I suspected - you stopped to pet the neighbor's cat!" Dilbert says, "It meant nothing. It was more of a pat than a pet." Dilbert dials the phone and says, "Save your lies for the trial."
Saturday March 14,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #petimony, #fuzzy, #cat, #pet, #disgust, #rubbed, #leg, #pine-scented, #sand
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The defense calls Fuzzy the Cat." Fuzzy sits in the witness stand. Dilbert asks Fuzzy, "Isn't it true that I did not in fact PET you, but only pushed you away in mild disgust when you rubbed my leg?" Fuzzy replies, "I have this sudden urge to bury you in pine-scented sand."
Tuesday January 26,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cat, #frisbee, #catch, #animal behavior, #shooting
Transcript
Dilbert tosses a Frisbee and says, "Get it, Dogbert!" Dogbert fires a gun and shoots the Frisbee. Dilbert looks at Dogbert, who is holding a rifle, and says, "Maybe I should just get a cat." Dogbert replies, "Good idea, but they're harder to throw."
Saturday May 07,
1994
Tags #boss made pass, #cat ate ring, #family in coma, #irs audit, #seek relief, #woes, #anti woe cologne
Transcript
Alice: I'm going to seek relief from my many woes by sharing them with you. My entire family is in a coma....The cat ate my wedding ring,,,,The IRS is auditing us....my boss made a pass at me. It isn't working, you aren't absorbing my woes. Dilbert: Im wearing into woe cologne.
Tuesday September 13,
1994
Tags #cat, #not optimist, #phrased better, #rakberts head, #stomp on it, #yank off, #bob the dinosaur, #rat, #dog, #animals
Transcript
"Bob, I'll yank the cat off of Ratbert's head and you stomp on it!" "Yank" "Stomp" "I could have phrased that better." "I'm not an optimist anymore."
Thursday September 15,
1994
Tags #ctrl-alt -delete, #keyboard, #cat, #dogbert called, #animals
Transcript
"Get off of my keyboard, Cat, or else!" "Watch me act like I don't even hear you." "Dogbert!" "CTRL - ALT - DEL"
Friday September 16,
1994
Tags #throwing out cat, #no value, #widen demograohic, #make you immortal, #bargaining, #wants to stay
Transcript
"You have to go, Cat. You have no value to us." "Actually, my mere existence will widen your demographic appeal and makeyou immortal." "Oh...a Cat. That's original." "Give it a rest, 'Mickey'."