Cats Comic Strips
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18 Results for Cats
View 1 - 10 results for cats comic strips. Discover the best "Cats" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 24,
2011
Tags #cats & kittens, #computer software, #contracts, #harvest organs, #signed, #software services, #save lives
Transcript
Carol says, "There's a guy in the lobby who says he's here to harvest your organs." Carol says, "Apparently, you signed a software services agreement without fully understanding it." Dilbert says, "Well, at least I can save lives." Carol says, "He said something about his cat's birthday."
Friday December 15,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #abuse, #skunk, #cats, #fear, #response, #ice cream
Transcript
Dilbert is threatened by an abusive skunk. Skunk: That's right: A big bowl of ice cream could keep me from being afraid and reflexively spraying your living room. Dilbert: This is blackmail! Skunk: My goodness, no. It's just that I can't control my fear response. Now I'm afraid that you won't sing the songs from "cats," while I eat.
Monday October 12,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #woman, #men and women, #relationships, #love, #perfect, #recognize, #cats, #law, #out there
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "Somewhere out there is the woman who is perfect for me." They sit down and Dilbert continues, "But how will I recognize her? How will I know she's the one?" The caption says, "Meanwhile, somewhere 'out there' . . ." A woman who looks like Dilbert says to her cat, "Okay, I agree that it SEEMS like cats own people, but it's not actually the law."
Sunday July 07,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #evil, #good, #Dogs, #animal behavior, #cats, #stupid, #people, #logic, #predicts, #theory, #existential crisis
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I know dogs are basically good." Dogbert continues, "And dogs are better than people." Dogbert continues, "But people are better than cats." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert continues, "And cats are evil . . ." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, all people are stupid." Dilbert says, "I don't follow that logic." Dogbert says, "Yes, my theory predicts you would say that."
Monday August 12,
1996
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #big layoffs coming, #secret, #cats don't keep secrets
Transcript
Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Hey, Wally . . . Big layoffs coming." Catbert continues, "I've seen the list. I know more about your future than you do. But it's a secret." Catbert says, "Sadly, cats don't keep secrets very well." Ted says to Wally, "Nice chair."
Tuesday April 15,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #life insurance policy, #pay premiums, #collect insurance, #valuable, #company, #don't like cats, #business
Transcript
Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."
Tuesday September 14,
2010
Tags #meeting, #facebook, #twitter, #marketing, #social media, #new employee, #coworker, #cats, #drunk, #stupid, #business, #technology
Transcript
Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."
Sunday March 06,
2005
Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #assistant manager, #simialr, #slightly worse, #wouldn't be threat, #data base, #both hideous, #criminally insane, #hate cats, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager." "I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way." "Worse than you??" "Yes, but only slightly." "The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me." "I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane." "I said slightly worse." "Exactly. I found one." "I can pretend to read in five languages." "I hate cats."
Wednesday August 02,
1989
Tags #human, #garlic bread, #restaurant, #no pets, #cats
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a hat, walk into Scaparotti's Restaurant. There is a sign in the window that says, "No pets." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just try to act human." Dilbert says to the waiter, "Two ravioli supremes and garlic bread." Dogbert adds, "And a cat . . ." Dilbert says, "That's 'catsup,' my friend would like some CATSUP." Dogbert says, "Maybe something Siamese."
Saturday August 06,
1994
Tags #goldfish, #hair on cat, #hairless cat, #dilbert spray
Transcript
"Thanks for inviting me over, Dogbert. We little hairless cats are usually shunned." "FSSSS" "I would have bet anything that that wouldn't work." "Hair!!" "Now the goldfish."