Ceo Slip Trance Comic Strips
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626 Results for Ceo Slip Trance
View 1 - 10 results for ceo slip trance comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Slip Trance" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 30,
2002
Tags #power point presentation, #ceo slip trance, #subliminal suggestions, #increase budget, #more budget, #kill boss, #pointy haired monster
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Make your 'Power-point' presentation so boring that our CEO will slip into trance." The Boss continues, "Then I'll whisper to him subliminal suggestions to increase our budget." The CEO is asleep. The Boss whispers, "More budget." On the other side of the CEO, Wally whispers, "Kill the pointy-haired monster."
Friday November 14,
2014
Hiring A Co Ceo
Tags #ceos, #executives, #wages, #work ethic, #co ceo, #break tie, #manioulate, #pay, #hire, #split salary, #money
Transcript
CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.
Saturday November 15,
2014
Dogbert The Third Ceo
Tags #business tactics, #ceos, #executives, #co ceo, #third ceo, #tiebreaker, #fired, #disagreement, #new guy
Transcript
CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.
Friday November 21,
2014
Ceo Gets Rehired
Tags #dancing, #executives, #firing, #payback, #revenge, #vengeance, #rehired, #ceo, #security videos, #happy dance, #spasms
Transcript
CEO: Good news! I got rehired as CEO! I checked the security videos for the day I got fired, and not I'm getting revenge on anyone who did a happy dance. Dilbert: Did I...? CEO: Frankly, I can't tell. Do you have spasms?
Tuesday June 02,
2015
Ceo Tosses Catbert
Tags #executive, #ceo, #delegate, #respoinsibilities, #punishment
Transcript
CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!
Friday October 26,
2018
Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet
Tags #ceo, #Wally, #crypto, #cryptocurrency, #game, #private key, #password, #done, #care
Transcript
CEO: How do I get a crypto wallet so I can get into the cryptocurrency game? Wally: I'll set one up for you and give you the private key and password when I'm done. CEO: I don't know how to thank you. Wally: That'll take care of itself.
Thursday April 14,
2011
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management
Transcript
CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.
Tuesday December 06,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #warren buffet, #tax rate, #subsidizing mansion, #condescending, #show appreciation, #ceo, #high tax, #worker
Transcript
CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.
Sunday April 15,
2012
Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.
Wednesday July 18,
2012
Tags #dissenters, #speak truth to power, #ignorant, #bald and overpaid, #respect, #ceo
Transcript
Dogbert: Do you respect those who speak truth to power? CEO: I don't know what that means. Dogbert: In this case it means you're ignorant, bald and overpaid. Do you respect me, or should I keep going?