Search Results for "ceo visits"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 577

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2008's comic on:

Tags #irony, #meeting, #ceo visits, #change focus, #make good prodcuts, #pretending solvency, #hologram, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The CEO visits CEO: We're going to change our focus... from pretending to make good products, to pretending to be solvent. On a related note, I've always been a hologram.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2013's comic on:

Tags #executives, #snobbishness, #ceo visitis, #questions, #ceo, #special treatment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When our CEO visits, don't ask him any questions. He hates questions. And don't stare. He hates it when people look at him. Dilbert: May we breathe the air on his planet? Boss: Only the stuff he exhales.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Visits "We bought our competitor and we plan to integrate their product line into ours." "Did anyone tell you that their products are worthless pieces of garbage? Maybe that's why they sold the company." "I mean congratulations."

Hiring A Co Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hiring A Co Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2014's comic on:

Tags #ceos, #executives, #wages, #work ethic, #co ceo, #break tie, #manioulate, #pay, #hire, #split salary, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.

Dogbert The Third Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Third Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2014's comic on:

Tags #business tactics, #ceos, #executives, #co ceo, #third ceo, #tiebreaker, #fired, #disagreement, #new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.

View more books now

Ceo Gets Rehired

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Gets Rehired - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2014's comic on:

Tags #dancing, #executives, #firing, #payback, #revenge, #vengeance, #rehired, #ceo, #security videos, #happy dance, #spasms

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Good news! I got rehired as CEO! I checked the security videos for the day I got fired, and not I'm getting revenge on anyone who did a happy dance. Dilbert: Did I...? CEO: Frankly, I can't tell. Do you have spasms?

Ceo Tosses Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Tosses Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2015's comic on:

Tags #executive, #ceo, #delegate, #respoinsibilities, #punishment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!

Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2018's comic on:

Tags #ceo, #Wally, #crypto, #cryptocurrency, #game, #private key, #password, #done, #care

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How do I get a crypto wallet so I can get into the cryptocurrency game? Wally: I'll set one up for you and give you the private key and password when I'm done. CEO: I don't know how to thank you. Wally: That'll take care of itself.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #warren buffet, #tax rate, #subsidizing mansion, #condescending, #show appreciation, #ceo, #high tax, #worker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.