Change Master Comic Strips

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268 Results for Change Master

View 1 - 10 results for change master comic strips. Discover the best "Change Master" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #change master, #adaptive environment, #increase workload, #job security, #flexibility, #bad morale

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "If we are to succeed, you must become change masters in an ever-changing, change-adaptive environment." Wally says, "Let me get this straight . . . Every change seems to increase our workload while decreasing our job security and real earnings after inflation . . ." Wally asks, "And the problem is OUR lack of flexibility?" The Boss replies, "Not entirely. There's also your bad morale."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lord, #master, #worthless cretin, #telemarketing, #voice mail

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the couch. Dogbert dials a number on the telephone. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert, your lord and master! Submit to my will, you worthless cretin!" Dilbert uses the remote control to change the TV channel. Dilbert asks, "Does telemarketing work for that sort of thing?" Dogbert replies, "You'll know tomorrow; that was your voice mail."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #shopping, #hardware, #powerpoint deck, #boss, #ambiguity, #mumbling, #change subject, #badger for answer, #too many questions

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Dilbert: Can you look at this bid and let me know if I can order the hardware? Boss: yes. Dilbert: Are you saying yes I can order the hardware, or yes you'll look at it? Boss: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: What? Boss: I need your input on my Powerpoint deck. Dilbert: So far, in response to my request, you've given me ambiguity, mumbling, and a change of subject. Would you prefer that I badger you for an answer until you get angry, or should I return to my cubicle and resume being ineffective? Boss: You ask too many questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #credit, #forbidden knowledge, #change to dotted lines, #made of ink

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Boss: Change all of the lines to dotted. We're not made of ink. Dilbert: Why'd I just get chills? Boss: Me too. It feels like some sort of forbidden knowledge.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business

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Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #robot dog, #devil, #master, #invention

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "What do you mean you built a robot dog?!! You can't replace me!!" Dilbert says, "Calm down Dogbert." A robot dog comes up behind Dogbert and barks. Dogbert jumps and yells, "Aaaghh!! The devil dog! Help! Help!" The robot dog stands on his hind legs and says, "I was created to serve your every need, Master Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Okay, he can stay. But you owe me one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #borrow, #car, #cruising, #vote, #tie, #change, #decision, #demand, #recount

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "No, you may NOT borrow the car to go cruising." Dogbert says, "I think we should vote on it." Dilbert replies, "Heh-heh . . Okay, but a tie means no change in the decision." Dogbert says, "Fair enough." Dogbert thinks as he drives the car, "I'm glad he didn't demand a recount."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #auto service, #question, #change oil, #new oil, #second, #option

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Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #convince, #wealth, #polyester, #pants, #top, #head, #money, #change

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Dogbert sits across from a customer service representative in a bank. The woman says, "Well, Mr. Dogbert, what could I do to convince you to put your new wealth in our bank?" Dogbert replies, "Stretch your polyester pants over the top of your head." As the woman pulls her pants over her head, Dogbert says, "I hope money doesn't change me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #left-handed, #elbonians, #take, #change, #light, #bulb, #funnier

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One Elbonian asks another, "How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to change a light bulb?" The Elbonian says, "None! Left-handed Elbonians don't have any light bulbs!" The other Elbonian asks, "What's a light bulb?" The Elbonian replies, "I guess it would be funnier if we knew that."