Search Results for "charging"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #animal, #behavior, #hugged, #mom, #charging, #pet, #dates, #disasters, #touch, #somebody, #session, #doc

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #astrologer, #plotting, #rip off, #astrologer charging, #plotting rip off, #hourly billing, #prefer to call

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits in meeting next to Dogbert who is dressed in a turban. The boss says, "My atrologer tells me that someone here is plotting to rip me off." Asok says, "How much is your atrologer charging you?" The boss says, "Are you plotting to rip me off?" Dogbert says, "I prefer to call it hourly billing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cross charging, #freshly brewed coffee, #tempting pasteries, #time to project, #meeting, #wrong meeting, #mis placed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Um...Why are you here? "Originally I was seduced by the smell of your freshly brewed coffee and tempting pastries." "But now I'm all about cross-charging my time to your project."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #charging time, #projects, #no work, #wind, #existence of your wind, #farting around

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, you've been charging your time to several projects, but no one has ever seen you work." "You can't see the wind, either, but surely you don't doubt that it exists." "I've also gotten complaints about the existence of your wind." "I rest my case."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #charging hours to project, #one meeting, #one hour, #extensive preparation, #evaluated, #57 hours, #sat quiet, #charging

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, why have you been charging all of your hours to my project?" "I invited you to one meeting. It lasted one hour." "Do you think I would go to a meeting without extensive preparation?" "Okay.. that's another hour." "How many more do you need explained?" "Fifty-eight." "After the meeting, I sat quietly and evaluated what everyone said. That took fity-seven hours." "Ha! You're still an hour short. Explain THAT!" "Do you mind if I sit quietly and think about that question for a while?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #dogbert consulting comapny, #business units, #cross cahrging, #undermining, #comepotition, #healthy, #janitorial

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points to a diagram on an overhead projector and says, "We're going to follow the advice of the Dogbert Consulting Company and form 'Battlin' Business Units.'" The Boss continues, "We'll spend most of our time cross-charging and undermining the other BBU's." Wally comments, "A little competition is healthy." The Boss adds, "Whatever you do, DON'T tick off the janitorial BBU."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #bank of ethel, #ethel, #Dilbert, #paying, #credit, #Card, #automatically, #transfer, #account, #craze, #elsewhere

View Transcript

Transcript

A teller at the Bank of Ethel says, "Next victim." Dilbert approaches the window and says, "You charged me a fee for paying my credit card bill a day late." The woman asks, "So?" Dilbert asks, "Why don't your computers automatically transfer money from my checking account instead of charging a penalty?" The teller replies, "Frankly, we're not much into the 'customer service' craze." The teller continues, "We prefer to set little traps so customers get hit with unexpected penalties." Dilbert says angrily, "Well!! I think I'll just take my business elsewhere!" The teller says, "You're annoying me. That's a hundred dollar penalty!" Dilbert walks out of the bank wearing only his underwear. He thinks, "I don't think I can even claim a moral victory here."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #code, #projects expenses, #assigns codes, #breaking hard

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "And I need a code for charging my project's expenses." The coworker says, "No. I hate your project." Dilbert responds, "It doesn't matter if you hate it. You're just the guy who assigns codes." The coworker motions to the door and says, "Get out of here." Dilbert asks, "Why is everything in this company so freakin' hard?" The coworker replies, "Because of people like you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Did you hire Ellen just because she's hot?" "Carol, hotness is an important skill. It's like a super power." "From now on, how much are you charging us for printer cartridges?" "Fuh fuh free!" ping

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #workplace rumours, #idiot, #false rumor, #charging for rumors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."