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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anger, #annoyance, #online class, #improve charisma, #stupid fake charisma, #weird

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Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business

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Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #president, #united states, #charisma, #unify, #divided, #Political, #party, #democrat, #communist

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to run for President of the United States." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping my charisma will unify a divided political party." Dilbert asks, "You're running as a Democrat?" Dogbert replies, "No, Communist. I want to have a chance."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2002's comic on:

Tags #new ceo, #charisma, #miracle worker, #emptied wallte, #gave back, #classy

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Dilbert has his wrists stuck together and Wally is bound in duct tape. Dilbert says, "I like our new CEO. He has charisma." Wally replies, "The man sure knows how to rob. He's a miracle worker with duct tape." Wally continues, "He even gave me back my emptied wallet." Dilbert says, "Classy move."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2003's comic on:

Tags #401k plan, #afterlife, #charisma, #evil director, #expected - value basis, #free software upagrdes, #high potential reward, #human resources, #math, #odds seem low, #reward you in aftrelife, #seventy versions, #education, #business

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Catbert, the Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert: "Your 401K Retirement Plan will be replaced with a 401A plan." "The 'A' stands for afterlife." "You'll get no money in this life, but the company will reward you in the afterlife." Dilbert: "The odds of that happening seem low." CatBert: "Yes, but on an expected-value basis, a high potential reward compensates for low odds." "For example, how many free software upgrades would I need to promise you in the afterlife to make you work yourself to death this year?" Dilbert: "Seventy versions." "I resisted his charisma. But he got me with his math."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2000's comic on:

Tags #can't breathe, #demonstration, #evil eye process, #new consultant, #paper cut bleeding, #rasputin, #charisma

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The Boss says to his staff, "This is Rasputin, our new consultant." The Boss continues, "He stopped my paper cut from bleeding." The Boss says to everyone, "He has charisma." Alice says, "I'd like to see a demonstration on Asok." Rasputin looks at Asok fiercely. Asok nervously says, "Ack...can't breathe..." The Boss says to everyone, "That's called the evil eye process. Now do Wally." Rasputin begins to stare at Wally. Wally replies, "Ack...can't breathe..." Wally drops to the floor and the Boss says, "He never had a chance." Dilbert replies, "Your anti-charisma is strong today."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2013's comic on:

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #appear charistmatic, #high expectations, #character flaws, #your end, #charisma, #business

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Boss: Experts say I can appear charismatic by setting high expectations. Dilbert: Or maybe you could improve your charisma by fixing your character flaws instead of making me work harder. Boss: No, I'm fairly sure the problem with my charisma is on your end.

Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally

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Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2015's comic on:

Tags #technology, #text, #texting, #distraction, #shout, #diversion, #charm, #excitement, #cheer

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Boss: (types on his phone). Wally: Go team! Can you turn down your charisma? I can barely sit still over here.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2001's comic on:

Tags #schematic, #office politics, #ruin teds career, #say bad things, #rumor mill, #ted is history, #backfired, #tested, #phil quit

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Dilbert is sitting at his desk drawing a map. He says, "I've created a schematic of office politics in my company." Dogbert says, "Nicely done." Dilbert says, "Let's say I want to ruin Ted's career." Dilbert continues, "I could say bad things to Tina about Ted. Tina carpools with Ming and Ming takes yoga classes with Carol." Dilbert continues, "And Carol is a secretary for Ted's boss. So Ted would be history." Dilbert continues, "Of course it wouldn't be ethical to test the system." Dogbert replies, "Unless..." Dogbert points to the map and continues, "..You use the Phil-Alice-Larry circuit to get Ted rehired." Dilbert replies, "Yup, yup." Dilbert concludes talking to Tina with, "...And that's why Ted is worthless." He pauses and then asks, "Hey, where's Phil today?" Tina replies, "He quit." Dilbert asks Dogbert at home, "Why do I listen to you?" Dogbert responds, "Because of a little thing I call charisma."