Cheaper Comic Strips
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15 Results for Cheaper
View 1 - 10 results for cheaper comic strips. Discover the best "Cheaper" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 19,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #tombstone, #write, #cremated, #stuffed, #cheaper, #arm chair
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair and Dilbert stands in front of him. Dilbert asks, "If I died tomorrow, what would you write on my tombstone?" Dogbert replies, "I always assumed there would be no tombstone." Dilbert says, "Ah . . . You would have me cremated." Dogbert replies, "Or stuffed, whichever is cheaper."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 14,
1994
Tags #2004, #cheaper than dating, #date at door, #Dogbert, #future, #holodeck, #virtual reality, #writing article, #money, #male hormones
Transcript
Dogbert: "I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology." "Therefore, when virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed." "Year 2004" Date: "Is Dilbert available?" DOgbert: "He's been in the holodeck since March."
Monday July 01,
2002
Tags #procurement, #special cable, #rope, #exclusive contract, #rope distributer, #monkey, #cheaper, #desk, #animals
Transcript
Headline: Procurement. Dilbert says to a monkey, "I need to order a special cable for my computer." The monkey holds up a rope and says, "Ooh hoo hoo hoo!" Dilbert responds, "No. That's a piece of rope. Yes, I know it's cheaper." Dilbert continues, "Well, maybe it was a mistake to sign an exclusive contract with a rope distributor." The monkey crosses its arms and replies, "Ooh hoo hoo jerk."
Friday August 27,
2004
Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."
Tuesday October 05,
2004
Tags #snob, #business snob, #shake hand, #Dilbert, #buck passer, #cheaper, #regular employee
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."
Sunday August 11,
2002
Tags #technically impossible, #costs less, #much cheaper, #plan one or two, #engineers
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Both plans are technically impossible." The Boss responds, "Which one costs less?" Dilbert says, "Um... I don't see how that matters, but plan one is cheaper." The Boss reports to his manager, "Plan one is the best." The manager responds, "I'll take it to our V.P." The manager is meeting with an associate. The associate says, "I like plan two." The manager replies, "Great minds think alike!" The associate approaches the V.P. The V.P. says, "Excellent. Ask one of our engineers to present plan two to the board." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess what." Dilbert says to Wally, "Every day I make the world a little bit worse." Wally responds, "What's it like to make a difference?"
Monday June 04,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #personality, #cult, #wear, #bathrobes, #picture, #back, #run, #naked, #attractive, #people
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to form a personality cult to honor me." Dogbert continues, "I'll take everybody's money and make them wear bathrobes with my picture on the back." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to brand them and let them run naked?" Dogbert replies, "As a rule, we're not talking about attractive people here."
Wednesday June 03,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #video, #techie, #dweebs, #technology, #mirror, #hell, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk staring at the video phone. Dogbert asks, "Did anybody call on your new video phone yet?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think that the only people who will buy video phones are male techie dweebs like you?" Dogbert continues, "Therefore, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy a mirror?" Dilbert thinks, "It's hell being an early adopter."
Thursday July 28,
2005
Tags #absent monded, #cauliflower, #replace brain, #specialist, #untested, #worth a cahnce
Transcript
"I'm referring you to a specialist who can treat your absent-mindedness." "His method is untested, but I think it's worth a chance." "You'll replace my brain with a cauliflower?" "They're just like brains, but much cheaper."
Sunday May 28,
2000
Tags #fake surveillance camera, #chepaer, #discourage thefts, #treat employees like criminals, #leave
Transcript
Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."