Chinese Language Option Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

158 Results for Chinese Language Option

View 1 - 10 results for chinese language option comic strips. Discover the best "Chinese Language Option" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teller, #automated, #machine, #menus, #chinese language option

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Im getting performance anxiety at the automated teller machine. I feel the impatient glare of the stranger behind me. I try to prove competent by speeding through the menus. Good Lord, I hit the mandarin chinese language option. Oh no! I think I transferred my life savings to the "United way" Great...now his truck eyeballs are stuck to the back of my neck. This is exactly why I hate going to the automated teller. Dogbert: I think a little "visine" would make him slide right off. Dilbert: There was a time I could afford that...

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Alice Has Foul Language

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Has Foul Language - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #language, #joke, #jokes, #human resources, #complaint, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina complained that your foul language is creating a hostile work environment. Alice: That's ridiculous. Words are totally harmless. Tell Tina she can... [Ten Seconds Later. The boss is twitching] Okay, I see it now.

Body Language Fail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Body Language Fail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #body language, #fail, #deny, #psychology, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #estate plan, #inherit stuff, #option, #powerful incentive, #saving & investment, #wills, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #apathy, #choosing, #comments, #two alternatives, #recommended option, #more expensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mathematics, #questioning, #second option, #feels right, #ignore data, #intuition, #slippery slope, #witch craft

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The second option feels right. Let's go with that. Dilbert: Should we always ignore what the data says, or is this more of a one-time thing? Boss: It's call intuition. Dilbert: It's a slippery slope to witchcraft.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #body, #language, #cuddle, #fireplace, #firewood, #date, #woman, #love, #love and dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I can tell what my date is thinking by her body language." Dilbert thinks, "Her body is telling me 'Let's cuddle by a fireplace. . .'" Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant and his date stands on her chair holding a chainsaw. Dilbert thinks, "'I'll get some firewood,' she says . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #auto service, #question, #change oil, #new oil, #second, #option

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #protest, #obscene, #opera, #foreign, #language, #sheltered, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I'm writing to protest the obscene lyrics in opera." Dilbert says, "It's not obscene . . . It's a foreign language." Dogbert stops writing and says, "Oh . . . I thought I was just living a very sheltered life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #foreign, #language, #children, #dress, #vikings, #hollering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Opera should be banned from television." Dogbert continues, "It must be obscene, or they wouldn't have to sing it in a foreign language." Dogbert continues, "And we can't let children think it's okay to dress like Vikings and go around hollering."