dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat.
dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences.
ted: i only eat figs.
dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.
boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local.
dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country?
elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia.
boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system.
elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others.
boss: i'm going to need a second opinion.
elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.