Civilization Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
12 Results for Civilization
View 1 - 10 results for civilization comic strips. Discover the best "Civilization" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 31,
2012
Tags #computers & peripherals, #inventions, #computers, #program themsleves, #machine intelligence, #destroy civilization, #plan a, #live unhealthy, #lifestyle, #plan b, #techno terrorism
Transcript
Dilbert: In a few years, computers will program themselves. That's called singularity. From that point on, machine intelligence will increase exponentially. The resulting shock will probably destroy the fabric of civilization. Plan "A" is to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Plan "B" is techno-terrorism. Boss: I like the first one.
Saturday June 30,
2012
Tags #huge fee, #non practicing entity, #patent troll, #patents, #playing field, #plunge civilization, #tangle innovation, #thwart compnies, #dark ages
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm a patent troll, but you can call me a non-practicing entity. For a huge fee, I will use my patents to thwart the companies that are trying to thwart you with their own patents. Together we can strangle innovation and plunge civilization into the dark ages! Boss: That would even the playing field.
Saturday September 16,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #android, #civilization, #aliens, #radish-like
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever get to thinking that maybe you are just an android, placed on earth by an advanced civilization of huge radish-like aliens who are studying your every move?" Dilbert answers, "No." Dogbert says, "Me neither."
Saturday November 04,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #world economy, #gold, #rock, #civilization, #money
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a fence outdoors. Dogbert asks, "Isn't it stupid that the world economy is based on gold?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . No matter how advanced civilization gets, we still use rocks for money." Dogbert says, "The dumb part is using a rock that's so hard to find."
Sunday July 30,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #focus, #subatomic civilization, #civilization
Transcript
Dilbert looks into a huge microscope and says, "My goodness! It looks like I've discovered an entire subatomic civilization!" A microscopic organism says, "Hey! What are you staring at?!!" Dilbert says, "I am Dilbert. I mean you no harm." The organism says, "You're looking at the incredibly tiny planet of 'Minimus 6.'" Dilbert asks, "Minimus 6? That means there are five other planets like yours!" Dilbert says, "Let me get you focused a bit better . . ." Dilbert crunches the sample. Dilbert sits on the front steps with his head in his hands. Dogbert says, "And I loved the part when you said, 'I mean you no harm.'"
Sunday December 15,
1996
Tags #upgarde, #product design, #overheat, #big picture, #no benefits, #over heating, #sales are strong, #end civilization
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I made an upgrade to your product design." He hands Dilbert a document. Dilbert says, "This would make the product overheat." The Boss says, "Let's try to look at the big picture." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Okay . . . Let's see . . . Your upgrade has no benefits and it costs more." Dilbert continues, "The overheating would start office fires and put all of our customers out of business." Dilbert continues, "If our sales are strong, we could create economic chaos and a global firestorm." Dilbert concludes, "Your 'upgrade' would destroy civilization as we know it." The Boss says, "Keep me informed." Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "So you're going to end civilization as we know it?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think I'll miss it, frankly."
Thursday December 18,
2014
Engineers Built Everything That Matters
Tags #engineers, #importance, #marketing, #wages, #pay scale, #modern civilization, #need both, #marketing guy, #business, #money
Transcript
The Marketing Guy. Marketing Guy: I don't see why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals. Dilbert: Maybe because engineers designed and built every important part of modern civilization and all you did was misrepresent it. Marketing Guy: My point is that you need both. Dilbert: You really don't.
Tuesday May 06,
2003
Tags #elbonian, #ad reputation, #our image, #leprechauns, #mud, #export, #primary export, #vegetarian backlash
Transcript
Dogbert is meeting with an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "Elbonia has gotten a bad reputation. We need your help to rebuild our image." The Elbonian continues, "The problem began when we discovered a civilization of leprechauns living under our mud." The Elbonian continues, "Now they're our primary export. But we underestimated the vegetarian backlash."
Wednesday February 18,
2009
Tags #driving, #traveling, #angry, #dangerous
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Thanks for the ride. My company cut back on the travel budget." Driver says, "Do you mind if we stop at an abandoned slaughterhouse that's miles from civilization?" Dilbert says, "A little." Driver says, "Are you trying to make me angry?"
Tuesday December 24,
2013
Tags #electronic mail, #thinking, #lack of creativity, #choke yourself, #creating ideas
Transcript
Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.