Clear Mind Comic Strips
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309 Results for Clear Mind
View 1 - 10 results for clear mind comic strips. Discover the best "Clear Mind" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 25,
2000
Tags #clear mind, #thoughts, #forward basis, #market space, #done practicing
Transcript
As Dilbert knocks at his door, The Boss thinks, "I must clear my mind of all thoughts." The Boss says, "At the end of the day we'll be in a market space on a going forward basis." The Boss says, "Om... Om... Page..." Dilbert says, "I'll come back when you're done practicing being useless."
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Tuesday May 18,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #date, #intimidated, #two-headed, #conjoined twins, #telepathic, #naughty, #mind reading
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "Our last blind date was intimidated just because we're two-headed and telepathic." Dilbert thinks, "Must clear my mind. Don't think of anything naughty." Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The woman spills her drink.
Sunday April 01,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #universe, #revealed, #meditate, #secrets, #mind, #thoughts, #meditating, #stopping, #eastern, #Religion
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a cliff with a wise man. The wise man says, "The secrets of the universe will be revealed if you meditate." Dogbert asks, "Can't you just tell me the secrets?" The sage replies, "To meditate you must clear your mind of all thoughts." Dogbert asks, "If I have no thoughts how will I know if I'm meditating?" Dogbert continues, "And how do I come out of it? I won't be able to think about stopping." Dogbert continues, "And shouldn't stupid people be the best meditators of all?" The wise man says, "Perhaps you are not ready." Dogbert replies, "Perhaps you should spend more time with some thoughts."
Friday January 09,
2015
Love Me For My Mind
Tags #dating, #love, #priorities, #relationships, #vanilla scented lotion, #mind
Transcript
Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.
Thursday January 09,
2020
Mind Reading
Tags #business, #judge, #ruling, #gavel, #proof, #thoughts, #unfair, #mind, #reading
Transcript
court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.
Wednesday April 08,
2020
Mind Control
Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice
Transcript
dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.
Saturday June 11,
2011
Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking
Transcript
Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.
Tuesday February 14,
2012
Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!
Thursday February 23,
2012
Tags #gadgets, #market, #bigger phone, #design, #market niche, #mind out of niche
Transcript
Boss: There's room in the market for a device that's bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet. Dilbert: So you want me to design something that is a bad tablet and an even worse phone? Boss: To my mind, it's a market niche. Dilbert: Maybe you should get your mind out of your niche.
Friday June 02,
1989
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow staring at a ball. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I think the brain holds great powers waiting to be discovered." Dogbert continues, "It's almost as if I can make this ball levitate with pure mind power." Dogbert concentrates on the ball. Dogbert says, "Dang. Nothing." Behind Dogbert, Dilbert's chair rises into the air and dumps him onto the floor.