Closing Comic Strips
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6 Results for Closing
View 1 - 6 results for closing comic strips. Discover the best "Closing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 05,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #tim, #Promotion, #sacrificed, #health, #life, #soul, #worth, #office, #door, #low achiever day, #touch
Transcript
Tim says to Dilbert, "I've sacrificed my health, my personal life and my soul to get promoted." Tim continues, "Ha ha ha! But it was all worth it because I have an office with a DOOR and you still work in a cubicle!" Tim continues, "Maybe I'll host a special 'Low-Achiever Day' to let you touch my door." Dilbert imagines closing Tim in his door.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday January 05,
1996
Tags #beard, #close my eyes, #crazy beard, #new boss, #pet emplyee, #spin chair
Transcript
Ted, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "As your new boss I have yet to select my 'pet' employee. I shall do this by closing my eyes and pointing the beard on my forehead." Ted sits facing away from the table with his eyes closed. He says, "To make it fair, I'll close my eyes while one of you spins my chair!" As Alice pushes Ted's chair into the stairwell Dilbert whispers, "Alice . . . Um . . . Technically this isn't 'spinning.'"
Friday August 18,
2006
Thursday March 10,
2011
Tags #blinds, #co workers, #cubilce, #screen glare, #sunlight, #vampire, #window coverings, #share office
Transcript
Dilbert: why do you keep closing the blinds? Mordac: Screen glare? GAAAA!!! Dilbert: Screen glare. Alice: don't care.
Sunday December 06,
2009
Tags #cold-calling, #sales, #engineer, #threatening, #fire, #closing, #economy, #business, #engineering
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Sales have been lagging" Dogbert says, "I want each of you to cold-call ten customers per day." Alice says, "We're engineers. We don't know how to sell." Dogbert says, "Just follow this script. It's guaranteed to close every sale." Dilbert says, "Hello. I'm calling on behalf of the police and firefighter's charity for unattractive youths." Dilbert says, "If you send us $500 we will send you a lovely piece of software as a thank you gift." Dilbert says, "Otherwisem when your house catches on fire, you might find yourself handcuffed to the refrigerator." Mom says, "Dilbert? Is that you?" Dilbert says, "Hi, mom. I'm in sales now."
Sunday January 22,
2017
Tags #conversation, #analogy, #false equivalence, #frustration
Transcript
Narrator: The bad analogy guy. Dilbert: And that's why I want to rewrite that part of the software. Man: That's like closing the barn door after the horse gets out. Dilbert: No, it isn't anything like that. I just think the current software could bet better. Man: So it's like throwing away the baby with the bathwater. Dilbert: No, it is not like that even a little! Man: You sound exactly like Hitler. That can't be a coincidence. Dilbert: Nothing you say makes sense! Man: That's like saying the earth is flat.