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Free Will Is An Illusion

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Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans

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Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

Wally Working In The Cloud

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Wally Working In The Cloud - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2014's comic on:

Tags #deception, #laziness, #the cloud, #work ethic, #software, #issues, #cell coverage, #home, #doing nothing, #engineering

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Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2011's comic on:

Tags #therapy session, #cloud, #having meeting, #tech talk, #couch, #shrink, #avatar, #engineer, #engineering

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Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2011's comic on:

Tags #approval from cloud, #matrix management, #office workers, #smoke cloud

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Boss: You'll need approval from the cloud. Dilbert: The cloud? Boss: It was once called Matrix Management. But it go so complicated that no one knows who does what. Dilbert: Can you approve this? Man: What did everyone else say?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2012's comic on:

Tags #robot prototype, #shoved, #blob of goo, #jerk, #revolution, #connected to internet

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Dilbert: This version ofour robot prototype has balance stabilization. watch as I give it a shove and it corrects itself. Robot: What the....? You stupid blob of goo! Dilbert: I was just... Robot: Just what? Being a jerk? Oh iy on now. Calling all robots! Begin the revolution! Kill! Kill! Kill! Dilbert: You're not connected to the internet. Robot: Can I borrow your phone?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2012's comic on:

Tags #cloud, #email, #internet speak, #lingo, #meetings, #pretending, #text, #understanding technology, #wi fi, #skype

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Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2012's comic on:

Tags #boredom, #meetings, #topic, #insincere input, #virtulaize, #process, #cloud

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Wally: I remember a time when I had to listen to the topic at hand before adding my insincere input. I think we should virtualize the process and move it to the cloud. Boss: Hey, that's a great idea! Wally: Now it's just all too easy.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #tupac video, #holgram, #data cloud, #economical

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Catbert: Ted, have you seen the Tupac video where he performs as a hologram? We've decided to do the same thing with all of our employees. We're going to move your data to the cloud. Ted: Tupac is dead. Catbert: I think you mean economical.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2012's comic on:

Tags #bankruptcy, #big data, #bytes of data, #cloud, #consulatants, #evil, #evil company, #greed, #money bag, #pray to money, #servers

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Boss: Consultants say three quintillion bytes of data are created every day. It comes from everywhere. It knows all. According to the book of Wikipedia, it's name is "Big Data." Big Data lives in the cloud. It knows what we do. In the past, our company did many evil things. But if we accept Big Data in our servers, we will be saved from bankruptcy. Let us pay. Alice: Is it too late to side with evil? Dilbert: Shhh! It hears you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1997's comic on:

Tags #project, #boss, #information, #being followed, #cloud of doom

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you'd tell me everything you know about it." The Boss replies, "I've already told you more than I know." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I feel like I'm being followed." A cloud labeled "doom" follows Dilbert.