Cluelessness In Vicinity Comic Strips
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5 Results for Cluelessness In Vicinity
View 1 - 5 results for cluelessness in vicinity comic strips. Discover the best "Cluelessness In Vicinity" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 07,
1998
Tags #email monitoring system, #personal message, #unpaid overtime, #cluelessness in vicinity, #manipulating emplyee
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."
Saturday November 08,
1997
Tags #cluelessness, #indecisiveness, #micromange, #over analysis, #risks, #risk analysis
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "We'll need a risk analysis on this project before I can approve it." He hands Dilbert some papers. Dilbert types on his computer: Risk 1 Indecisiveness, Risk 2 Overanalysis, Risk 3: Cluelessness, Rik 4: Micromanagement... The Boss says, "I don't understand these risks,." Dilbert says, "That's number thirty-six."
Monday March 19,
2012
Tags #friendship, #make conversation, #sociopathic loner, #co workers, #coffee break, #meet up, #relationships
Transcript
Wally: Do you feel any need to make conversation? Dilbert: Nope. But I don't mind standing in your general vicinity to counter the common perception of you as a sociopathic loner. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: That's what acquaintances are for.
Wednesday August 04,
2010
Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #attendance, #present, #luck, #bit rate, #lab coat, #raise hand
Transcript
Dogbert the empire builder consultant Dogbert says, "Success is just attendance plus luck." Dogbert says, "You always want to be in the general vicinity when something good happens." Dilbert says, "Wow. I just doubled the bit rate." Boss says, "Present!"
Sunday February 08,
2009
Tags #job, #orders, #leadership, #idiocy, #guessing, #confusion, #business
Transcript
The boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to take over Carl's function." The boss says, "He's already gone, but Ted can train you." The boss says, "Ted was sometimes in the general vicinity when Carl did the function." a cloud says, "Doom" Ted says, "Try clicking the red...no, blue...no, red button." Beep ted says, "Ooh, okay. I didn't expect that." ted says, "Now you either have to erase all of the servers or activate the fire suppression system in the clean room." Dilbert says, "What if I click 'Cancel'?" Ted says, "That's what killed Carl." Ted says, "Anyway, that's all I know. The rest is just common sense."