Cod Meeting Comic Strips
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916 Results for Cod Meeting
View 1 - 10 results for cod meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Cod Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 27,
1997
Tags #fake acronyms, #staff meeting, #straight face, #action items, #cod meeting, #marketing, #could lie, #business
Transcript
Wally hands Dilbert and Alice a document. Wally says, "Here's your list of fake acronyms for the staff meeting." Wally says, "Try to keep a straight face when you use them." The Boss puts his hand on a stack of paper and says, "I've got a few action items. Who isn't busy?" Wally replies, "I'd be all over it but I need to prepare a BTR for the CPD meeting." Alice says, "I'd love to help but this is XRP week for the entire LBQ." Dilbert says, "My SP00 has too much fleem." Alice growls at Dilbert and Wally glares at him. Dilbert asks, "What?" They carry stacks of documents out of the conference room. Wally says, "That was smooth." Dilbert replies, "Hey, if I could lie I'd be in marketing."
Saturday June 20,
2015
Four Hour Meeting
Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.
Saturday October 29,
2016
Dilbert In Wrong Meeting
Tags #awkward, #meeting, #embarrassed, #embarrassment, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.
Friday March 31,
2017
Attend A Meeting In My Place
Tags #meeting, #frivolous, #stand-in, #time management, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.
Thursday March 01,
2018
Optimal Meeting Density
Tags #laziness, #excuses, #excuse, #meeting, #meetings, #powerpoint, #business
Transcript
Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.
Monday May 13,
2019
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting
Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat
Transcript
the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...
Tuesday November 19,
2019
Meeting To Decide When To Meet
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #schedule, #thursday, #berate
Transcript
boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?
Monday December 30,
2019
Pre Meeting
Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #pre-meeting, #canceled, #sarcasm, #business, #reality
Transcript
boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.
Friday February 07,
2020
Email Versus Meeting
Sunday April 05,
2020
No Time Before Next Meeting
Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time
Transcript
dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.