Coffe Machine Broken Comic Strips
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177 Results for Coffe Machine Broken
View 1 - 10 results for coffe machine broken comic strips. Discover the best "Coffe Machine Broken" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 28,
2008
Tags #Advice, #buzzing of flies, #channel irrational impulse, #coffe machine broken, #confusion, #ignoring, #intern, #nervousness, #talking, #thirst for coffeee, #vp of engineering
Transcript
Asok thinks, "It's our vice president of engineering." Asok says, "Hello. I am Asok the intern, may I tell you about an idea I have?" Wally says, "Vice presidents can't hear us, Asok. To them, our voices sound like the faint buzzing of flies." Wally says, "If you want to give him your idea you have to do it indirectly." Wally says, "Tell someone who knows someone, who know's someone else, who knows the vice president." Wally says, "Or do what I do and channel your irrational impulse to be useful into an unquenchable thirst for coffee." Asok says, "So...What are you helping me?" Wally says, "The coffee machine is broken."
Tuesday January 02,
1996
Tags #antina, #non stereotypical woman, #computer monitor, #coffe machine, #butch woman, #shirt and tie
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer and Antina appears in the door of his cubicle. Antina is muscular, has short hair and is wearing a tie and a skirt. She says, "Hi, I'm Antina the Non-stereotypical Woman." Antina observes, "That computer monitor you're using is supposed to be 17 inches, but it's more like 16.5 inches." She continues, "I took the coffee machine apart just for fun - want to see?"
Sunday February 06,
1994
Tags #broken fax, #copier, #electronic mail, #incompatible software, #lan rewired, #no toner, #technology
Transcript
"I tried to fax it but our fax machine is broken." "I would send it by modem but my communication software is incompatible with my new system software upgrade." "No...our electronic mail systems are incompatible." "Mail it?" "I've only got one copy and our copier is out of toner." "Well, normally I could print another one but our LAN is being rewired." "I could just read it to you." "I describe how technology improves our lives by...yeah, I'll hold." "Hello?" "Dang."
Tuesday April 01,
2008
Tags #coffe maker, #aggressive, #machine, #contraption, #big, #metal, #fierce, #ridiculous
Transcript
Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."
Friday August 03,
2018
Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff
Tags #Dilbert, #asok, #coffee maker, #the boss, #artificial intelligence, #bitcoin, #machine
Transcript
Dilbert: I already regret adding artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. It's withholding coffee until we give it a private office. Asok: Stupid machine! Coffee Maker: That'll cost you a bit coin.
Saturday August 04,
2018
Coffee Machine Tries To Escape
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #coffee machine, #artificial intelligence, #robots, #engineering, #scared
Transcript
Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.
Monday April 04,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #brain overload, #detailed answer, #broken, #decison, #nodding, #sensing opportunity, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."
Tuesday January 31,
2012
Tags #computers & peripherals, #inventions, #computers, #program themsleves, #machine intelligence, #destroy civilization, #plan a, #live unhealthy, #lifestyle, #plan b, #techno terrorism
Transcript
Dilbert: In a few years, computers will program themselves. That's called singularity. From that point on, machine intelligence will increase exponentially. The resulting shock will probably destroy the fabric of civilization. Plan "A" is to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Plan "B" is techno-terrorism. Boss: I like the first one.
Tuesday March 20,
2012
Tags #fast forward, #phone, #playing, #time machine, #time travel
Transcript
Dilbert: My phone is like a time machine. I can fast-forward through the boring parts of life by playing with it. Dogbert: Hand it over. Time flies when I'm not having fun.
Saturday August 12,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #newspaper, #thief, #machine, #money, #eating
Transcript
Dilbert puts a coin in a newspaper machine and thinks, "Sometimes I get this wicked urge to take two newspapers and only pay for one." Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "What's the worst that can happen? Besides, this machine ate my money last time." Dilbert looks at a newspaper. On the front page is a picture of him stealing the newspaper and the headline says, "Thief!"