Coffe Rehab Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

22 Results for Coffe Rehab

View 1 - 10 results for coffe rehab comic strips. Discover the best "Coffe Rehab" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #down to 40 cups, #won't survive, #lucky, #coffe rehab

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, I'm sending you to a coffee rehab program." Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" Catbert says, "They'll get you down to forty cups a day." Wally exclaims, "Not double digits!!!" Wally is escorted out. He yells, "You monster!!! I won't survive!!!" Catbert says, "If you're lucky."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee rehab, #no tea, #look in bag, #no soda, #no luaggage, #carry yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Coffee Rehab. A nurse comes towards Wally and says, "No soda, no tea, no chocolate." Wally is clenching his teeth and sweating. The nurse continues, "You're allowed one piece of luggage and you have to carry it yourself." Wally runs past the nurse holding a huge coffee mug-shaped suitcase. The nurse says, "I might want to take a look inside that bag."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee rehab program, #blame location, #world headquaters, #recidivism rate

View Transcript

Transcript

The speaker greets Wally, "Wally, congratulations on finishing the coffee rehab program." A cab is waiting for Wally. The speaker says, "Our recidivism rate isn't too hot. Our critics blame our location." Wally's cab is parked in front of Starbucks World Headquarters. A voice from inside the building asks, "Who's swimming in our vat?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrity business plan, #commit crime, #hire lawyer, #reality tv show, #gain weight, #tabloids, #spokesperson, #weight loss product, #write children book, #rehab, #addicted to painkillers, #plan, #future plans, #goals, #sensationalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rehab, #work ethic, #workaholic, #laundry

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: If I become a workaholic, will the company pay for rehab? Boss: What would workaholics rehab look like? Wally: I hope it involves getting paid while doing no work. Boss: That's what you do now. Wally: At rehab I think they do your laundry for you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pretending, #rehab, #victim, #work ethic, #workaholic, #effect health, #dramatic, #blaming victim

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm pretending to be a workaholic so the company will pay for rehab. Waaaa!!! I am working too hard! It is starting to affect my health! Boss: That seemed a bit dramatic. Wally: Here we go with blaming the victim.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomodate cup, #coffe cup, #head flattened, #job interview, #monkey, #surgically flattened, #starbucks, #barista, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffe lounge, #more vocal, #accomplishments, #bragging, #perfect substotute, #wind, #seat cushion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I think I need to be more vocal about my accomplishments. Wally: I've found that bragging is a perfect substitute for accomplishing stuff. Dilbert: I plan to do both. Wally: Wow. You are the wind beneath my seat cushion.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antina, #non stereotypical woman, #computer monitor, #coffe machine, #butch woman, #shirt and tie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer and Antina appears in the door of his cubicle. Antina is muscular, has short hair and is wearing a tie and a skirt. She says, "Hi, I'm Antina the Non-stereotypical Woman." Antina observes, "That computer monitor you're using is supposed to be 17 inches, but it's more like 16.5 inches." She continues, "I took the coffee machine apart just for fun - want to see?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy doing, #embryo in jar, #got fertiziled, #cute one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a coffe mug and says to Wally, "How's the new guy doing?" Wally looks at Embryo on the desk and says, "Not bad for an embryo in a jar." Wally says, "I hate the fact that he only got fertilized a week ago and he gets paid more than I do." Dilbert says, "In all fairness, he does obstruct progress less than you do." Wally says, "Everyone sides with the cute one."