Search Results for "coffee swilling squirrel"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 341

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2007's comic on:

Tags #too much work, #solution, #coffee swilling squirrel, #work faster, #time stands still, #slow, #too lsow, #hyper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Carol, I give you far too much work, Theres only one solution. I hired a coffee swilling beaver to show you how to work faster. Squirrel: when I watch you, its as if time stands still.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2007's comic on:

Tags #impulse control, #chew on pencil, #beaver, #borrowed pencil, #tree falls, #wild

View Transcript

Transcript

Coffee swilling Beaver Beaver: If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it.... Id still chew the bejeezus out f it because I have no impulse control. That reminds me: the pencil I borrowed from you isn't coming back.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2002's comic on:

Tags #added coffee, #carpet, #coffee stain, #mans face, #miracle, #squirrel body

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Tina, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "I found a coffee stain on my carpet that looks like a man's face." Tina replies, "It might be a miracle... Or maybe a sign of the end of time." Wally responds, "I hope not. I added coffee and gave him a squirrel body."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2001's comic on:

Tags #evolution class, #two day course, #surfing student, #cocky squirrel, #janiotr, #three thousand pound squirrel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table, having cereal and coffee. Dilbert is still in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "By the end of my two-day evolution class I had one surviving student." Dogbert continues as Dilbert raises his coffee cup, "He's probably the cockiest squirrel I've ever seen. Toward the end he weighed three thousand pounds." Dogbert continues as Dilbert takes a sip, "If you asked me who's the unluckiest person in the world, I'd have to say it was the janitor."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2013's comic on:

Tags #cruelty, #grades, #managers & supervisors, #small animal snuff film, #sociopath module, #punch a squirrel, #extra credit, #coffee pot, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.

View more books now

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

Thank you for voting.
Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2015's comic on:

Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

Wally's Coffee Ideas

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Coffee Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2017's comic on:

Tags #coffee, #obsession, #caffeine, #decaf, #competition, #thinking, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.

Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer

Thank you for voting.
Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2017's comic on:

Tags #invention, #engineer, #coffee, #cell phone, #technology, #idea, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Nothing is going right today. My phone charger is too hot, and my coffee is too cold. Dilbert: Did you just invent a phone charger that keeps your coffee warm? Wally: Did I? Dilbert: I'll have a prototype for you tomorrow. Narrator: Continued...

Wally's Coffee Drone

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2017's comic on:

Tags #managers, #management, #ideas, #invention, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.