Search Results for "coincidence"
Share March 25, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Share January 15, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "You what?!" Dogbert replies, "I got a job as a substitute school teacher." Dilbert says, "You aren't qualified to be a teacher. You're a dog." Dogbert replies, "Little kids won't know the difference." Dilbert says, "You do remind me a bit of my fourth grade teacher." Dogbert asks, "Just a coincidence?"
Share April 02, 1993's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert hold Dogbert signs and are wearing brassieres. Wally says, "You have to admit it - since Dogbert conquered the earth we've had no wars and the economy improved." Dilbert replies, "It could be a coincidence. All he's ordered so far is that we carry his picture and wear brassieres." Wally says, "I think you're afraid of change." Dilbert says, "Oh yeah? Well, I don't think you're a 'D' cup."
Share April 30, 1993's comic on:
The caption says, "Dogbert's good news show." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "Nine out of ten people have jobs . . . Three billion people had a nice day today . . . And the forest has plenty of owls." The caption says, "Regular news show." A news anchor says, "A huge asteroid could destroy earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries." The other reporter yells, "We'll all die!!" The caption says, "Back to Dogbert . . ." Dogbert holds a remote control and says, "In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off of your television screen."
Share March 07, 1997's comic on:
Wally tells Dilbert, "Our boss has fallen under the spell of a consultant." The Boss walks by with his arms outstretched and a zombie-like look on his face. He says, "Must . . . Make assumptions." The Boss continues, "Must . . . write . . large checks to consultant . . . because . . . employees . . . are . . . morons." Wally says, "Just because we pay inexperienced strangers to tell us how to do our jobs, that doesn't mean we're morons!" Dilbert says, "Yeah! It's a coincidence."
Share January 13, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert holds a coin out in his hand. He says, "I will debunk your ludicrous claim of psychic ability with one hundred flips of this coin." Ratbert looks on. Dilbert flips the coin and says, "Call it." Ratbert trows out his hands and says, "Edge." The coin lands on its edge. Dilbert frowns and says, "That was just coincidence." Ratbert says, "I call edge for the next 99, too."
Share September 07, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "I decided to buy all of our server upgrades through Bribertek, Inc." Dilbert: "Question: Are we buying overpriced hardware because they offered you a job?" "Because if we're paying extra to get rid of you, it's money well spent." "It's a coincidence!"
Share December 13, 2007's comic on:
Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."
Share September 23, 2018's comic on:
Tags #Wally, #the boss, #bad, #technology, #day, #phone, #freezing, #printer, #working, #network, #warning, #lights, #christmas, #tree, #laptop, #boot, #coincidence, #permission, #lock, #lead-line, #box, #hero
Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.
Share July 29, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert look at a model of Dilbert's Bioworld experiment. Dilbert says, "I've completed the design for Bioworld. Have you selected the volunteers?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert reads a list and says, "So . . . These are the brave people whose lives will depend on my ability to engineer a balanced ecology." Dilbert says, "Seven car salesmen plus Ratbert . . ." Dogbert says, "Coincidence."