Cold Dark Comic Strips
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96 Results for Cold Dark
View 1 - 10 results for cold dark comic strips. Discover the best "Cold Dark" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 12,
1995
Tags #original timeline, #12 months, #pitched in, #exact end date, #cold dark, #cheunk, #coal, #size, #forehead, #need flashlights, #sweaters, #nippy
Transcript
The Boss sits at a desk. Dilbert reads a printout and says, "Our original project time line was twelve months . . . But since you pitched in to help . . ." Dilbert continues, "I don't have an exact date, but it's roughly the same time that the sun becomes a cold dark chunk of coal the size of your forehead." The Boss says, "We'll need flashlights." Dilbert says, "And sweaters. It could get nippy."
Wednesday March 21,
2018
Hot And Cold In The Office
Tags #temperature, #thermostat, #disagreement, #hot, #cold
Transcript
Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so cold my hands turned into blocks of ice. Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so hot I can't concentrate. Boss: Are the two of you the same species? Dilbert: That's a gray area because it would be impossible for us to mate.
Monday November 04,
2019
Dark Matter And Lights
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #philosophy, #world, #dark, #matter, #light
Transcript
dilbert: did you know that 85% of the matter in the world is dark matter, and we don't even know what dark matter is? boss: i know what it is dilbert: you do? boss: it's when the lights are off. - duh. dilbert: i'm going to go talk to someone else now.
Tuesday November 05,
2019
Dark Matter Identified
Tags #philosophy, #stupidity, #dark, #matter, #universe, #abundant, #obvious
Transcript
dilbert: they say 85% of the matter in the universe is dark matter, and we don't even know what that is. dogbert: well, if it's the most abundant thing in the universe, it has to be made of stupidity. dilbert: why wasn't that obvious to me? dogbert: because you're 85% dark matter
Wednesday March 30,
2011
Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."
Thursday March 31,
2011
Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy
Transcript
Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"
Thursday January 27,
2011
Tags #fear, #rodents, #transcontinental journeys, #elbonia, #too cold, #airplanes, #operate, #underground route, #fly, #switzerland, #swear system, #sewerside mission, #warm jacket, #rat hammer
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Saturday June 30,
2012
Tags #huge fee, #non practicing entity, #patent troll, #patents, #playing field, #plunge civilization, #tangle innovation, #thwart compnies, #dark ages
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm a patent troll, but you can call me a non-practicing entity. For a huge fee, I will use my patents to thwart the companies that are trying to thwart you with their own patents. Together we can strangle innovation and plunge civilization into the dark ages! Boss: That would even the playing field.
Tuesday January 29,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #doctor, #health, #nothing, #naked, #people, #thing, #cold, #office
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "Here at the 'Jiffy Med Center' we do everything to keep your health costs down." The man continues, "In fact, none of us has any medical training so they pay us almost nothing." Dilbert asks, "Why do you do it?" The man grasps the stethoscope and replies, "I like putting this cold thing on naked people."
Tuesday October 06,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #abducted, #aliens, #hypnotized, #dark, #room, #row, #seats, #popcorn, #substance, #feet, #disgusted, #dollars, #enter, #ship, #suppressed, #memory
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with Dogbert and says, "I didn't remember being abducted by aliens until you hypnotized me. But now I remember they looked like 'E.T.'" Dilbert looks at a drawing and continues, "I remember being in a dark room with rows of seats. They fed us a popcorn-like substance. My feet were stuck to the floor." Dilbert continues, "I recall being disgusted that they charged me six dollars to enter the ship." Dogbert says, "That's why you suppressed the memory."