Cold Calling Comic Strips

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110 Results for Cold Calling

View 1 - 10 results for cold-calling comic strips. Discover the best "Cold Calling" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #cold calling, #video chat, #sales job, #computer, #selling on line, #skype, #technology

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Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cold-calling, #sales, #engineer, #threatening, #fire, #closing, #economy, #business, #engineering

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Sales have been lagging" Dogbert says, "I want each of you to cold-call ten customers per day." Alice says, "We're engineers. We don't know how to sell." Dogbert says, "Just follow this script. It's guaranteed to close every sale." Dilbert says, "Hello. I'm calling on behalf of the police and firefighter's charity for unattractive youths." Dilbert says, "If you send us $500 we will send you a lovely piece of software as a thank you gift." Dilbert says, "Otherwisem when your house catches on fire, you might find yourself handcuffed to the refrigerator." Mom says, "Dilbert? Is that you?" Dilbert says, "Hi, mom. I'm in sales now."

Hot And Cold In The Office

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Hot And Cold In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temperature, #thermostat, #disagreement, #hot, #cold

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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so cold my hands turned into blocks of ice. Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so hot I can't concentrate. Boss: Are the two of you the same species? Dilbert: That's a gray area because it would be impossible for us to mate.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill

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Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy

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Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #rodents, #transcontinental journeys, #elbonia, #too cold, #airplanes, #operate, #underground route, #fly, #switzerland, #swear system, #sewerside mission, #warm jacket, #rat hammer

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The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #department, #secretary, #personal, #phone, #calls, #traditional, #costume, #countries, #calling, #cultural appropriation

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #doctor, #health, #nothing, #naked, #people, #thing, #cold, #office

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Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "Here at the 'Jiffy Med Center' we do everything to keep your health costs down." The man continues, "In fact, none of us has any medical training so they pay us almost nothing." Dilbert asks, "Why do you do it?" The man grasps the stethoscope and replies, "I like putting this cold thing on naked people."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #new, #video, #phone, #routed, #television, #celebrities, #calling, #dolly parton

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Nobody ever calls on my new video phone so I routed the television signal to it." Dilbert continues, "Now I can pretend that celebrities are calling me all day." Dilbert says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Dolly Parton is calling. I'll bet it's for me again."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job pays, #headhunter, #move, #cold place, #drivers license, #look up gender, #phone call, #man, #inquiring about job

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Dogbert the headhunter Dogbert: The job pays a hundred thousand. But you'll have to move to a place thats so cold that mercury freezes. Man: I'll take it. How bad could it be? Dogbert: Keep your drivers license on you is you can look up your gender if you forget