Collect Money Comic Strips
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605 Results for Collect Money
View 1 - 10 results for collect money comic strips. Discover the best "Collect Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 25,
2018
Tags #birthday, #cake, #card or goft, #collect money, #collection, #leave work early, #boss birthday
Transcript
Carol: I need to go home early today. Can you collect money for our boss's birthday gift? Carol: I wouldn't ask you don to it, but his birthday is tomorrow. Dilbert: um...okay. Carol: and could you also order a cake? You'll also need a card and a gift. Dilbert: This got a lot harder than I thought it.... Carol: Thanks! Bye! Dilbert: Tomorrow is our Boss's Birthday and I need to leave for early today, so... Alice: Nice try.
Sunday June 06,
2010
Tags #collect money, #ted, #birthday, #insult, #pinch face, #lemon, #ferret, #disgusting, #racist jokes, #embezzle, #date, #awkward, #dollar
Transcript
Tina says, "I'm collecting money for Ted's birthday." Alice says, "Pass. I can't stand that idiot." Alice says, "His face looks like a ferret eating a lemon." Alice says, "He makes my skin crawl." Alice says, "He tells racist jokes, and I think he's embezzling." Tina says, "I've been dating him for a month." Alice says, "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't worth a dollar."
Wednesday February 11,
2009
Tags #job, #hatred, #advise, #business
Transcript
Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, " how am I supposed to collect money from people who don't have any?" Woman says, "Tell them to rob someone you don't like." Dilbert says, "?and that's my supervisor's home address. But you'd better hurry before all the good stuff is gone."
Tuesday January 27,
2015
Takes Money To Make Money
Tags #asking questions, #faith, #idiom, #idioms, #money, #questioning, #sayings
Transcript
Boss: It takes money to make money. Dilbert: Then... where did the first money come from? Boss: God? Dilbert: Don't let him hear doubt in your voice.
Monday August 28,
2017
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks
Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification
Transcript
CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?
Saturday February 03,
2018
Money Can't Buy Happiness
Tags #happiness, #work, #motivation, #meaning, #money, #raise, #wages, #excuses, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.
Thursday May 31,
2018
Employees Who Don't Want Money
Tags #motivation, #money, #optimism, #ambition
Transcript
Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?
Saturday October 06,
2018
Spending The Company's Money
Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense
Transcript
Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.
Thursday January 20,
2011
Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money
Transcript
Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"
Tuesday February 15,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #program website, #collect browser hostory, #invent device, #sense of right and wrong
Transcript
The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?