Collect Money Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

604 Results for Collect Money

View 1 - 10 results for collect money comic strips. Discover the best "Collect Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2018's comic on:

Tags #birthday, #cake, #card or goft, #collect money, #collection, #leave work early, #boss birthday

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I need to go home early today. Can you collect money for our boss's birthday gift? Carol: I wouldn't ask you don to it, but his birthday is tomorrow. Dilbert: um...okay. Carol: and could you also order a cake? You'll also need a card and a gift. Dilbert: This got a lot harder than I thought it.... Carol: Thanks! Bye! Dilbert: Tomorrow is our Boss's Birthday and I need to leave for early today, so... Alice: Nice try.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2010's comic on:

Tags #collect money, #ted, #birthday, #insult, #pinch face, #lemon, #ferret, #disgusting, #racist jokes, #embezzle, #date, #awkward, #dollar

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I'm collecting money for Ted's birthday." Alice says, "Pass. I can't stand that idiot." Alice says, "His face looks like a ferret eating a lemon." Alice says, "He makes my skin crawl." Alice says, "He tells racist jokes, and I think he's embezzling." Tina says, "I've been dating him for a month." Alice says, "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't worth a dollar."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2009's comic on:

Tags #job, #hatred, #advise, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, " how am I supposed to collect money from people who don't have any?" Woman says, "Tell them to rob someone you don't like." Dilbert says, "?and that's my supervisor's home address. But you'd better hurry before all the good stuff is gone."

Takes Money To Make Money

Thank you for voting.
Takes Money To Make Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2015's comic on:

Tags #asking questions, #faith, #idiom, #idioms, #money, #questioning, #sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It takes money to make money. Dilbert: Then... where did the first money come from? Boss: God? Dilbert: Don't let him hear doubt in your voice.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2017's comic on:

Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

Dilbert Characters

Money Can't Buy Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Money Can't Buy Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2018's comic on:

Tags #happiness, #work, #motivation, #meaning, #money, #raise, #wages, #excuses, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

Employees Who Don't Want Money

Thank you for voting.
Employees Who Don't Want Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2018's comic on:

Tags #motivation, #money, #optimism, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?

Spending The Company's Money

Thank you for voting.
Spending The Company's Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2011's comic on:

Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #program website, #collect browser hostory, #invent device, #sense of right and wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?