Collecting Quotes Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

32 Results for Collecting Quotes

View 1 - 10 results for collecting quotes comic strips. Discover the best "Collecting Quotes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2003's comic on:

Tags #collecting quotes, #cubilce, #freakish waste, #inspirational quotes, #lobby wall, #over elevators

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally approaches Alice and says, "I've been asked to collect inspirational quotes for the lobby wall." Alice responds, "Get out of my cubicle, you freakish waste of carbon." Wally writes down Alice's quote as he walks away and thinks, "That'll look good over the elevators."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2012's comic on:

Tags #birthdays, #collecting money, #birthday present, #acquaintance price, #chart, #used gum, #lint, #bent staples

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #date-a-base, #Women, #nice, #guy, #quotes, #donahue, #sincere, #expand, #primates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair using a computer while Dilbert watches. Dogbert says, "I'll search my Date-a-Base for women who want a nice guy and don't care about looks." Dogbert says, "All I'm getting are some quotes from guests on 'Donahue,' but they don't seem sincere." Dogbert continues, "Maybe if I expand the search to include all primates . . ." Dilbert asks, "Why did you add 'don't care about looks?'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #collecting, #money, #mary, #birthday, #gift, #levels, #engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman tells Dilbert and Wally, "I'm collecting money for Mary's birthday gift." Dilbert asks, "How much do you want?" She replies, "Oh, it's totally up to you." The woman continues, "However, the usual accepted levels are, in effect . . ." She continues, "Ten dollars from her boss and anybody else who thinks it would improve his odds of becoming romantically involved with her." The woman continues, "Five dollars from male co-workers who feel their manhood would be threatened by a smaller gift . . ." She continues, "One dollar if you're a secretary or if nobody is watching . . ." The woman concludes, "Or you can just ruffle the money already in the envelope and act like you gave five." Dilbert says, "Let's say you fall into more than one of those categories . . ." Wally ruffles the money in the envelope. The woman thinks, "Engineers."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1999's comic on:

Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2003's comic on:

Tags #unimportant project, #inspirational quotes, #lobby walls, #eagle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Wally and says, "I have an unimportant project, so I thought of you." The Boss continues, "Find a bunch of inspirational quotes that we can put on the lobby walls." Wally types, "If being an eagle is such a good idea, why are there so few of them?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2003's comic on:

Tags #cannibals, #inspirational quotes, #lobby wall, #hands on stomach

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "As requested, I pulled together some inspirational quotes for our lobby wall." The Boss reads the list and says, "Hannibal Lector... The Donner Party... Uh.. Wally, most of these people are cannibals." Wally puts his hand on his stomach and says, "It was probably a mistake to do this assignment on an empty stomach."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2004's comic on:

Tags #look like moron, #magazine cover, #misquote, #morning on parade, #quotes area ccuarte, #writers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You made the cover of 'Morons on Parade'. The boss: I hope they didn't misquote me so Id look like a moron. writers do that sometimes. Phew! all the quotes are accurate,

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #quotes, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #phones, #book deal, #excited, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our highest priority is satisfying our customers? except when it is hard? or unprofitable? or we're busy." CLICK CLICK CLICK The Boss says, "Are you tweeting my quotes?" Asok says, "Book deal! Cha-ching!!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2009's comic on:

Tags #collecting, #money, #birthday, #angry, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well?no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it worse!"