An overweight man enters Dogbert's office and says as he pants and wheezes, "Are you Dogbert, the new leader of the vegetarian movement?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." The man continues to pant as he says, "I have a warning from the cow and egg industry . . . You must ERK!" The man lies on the ground with his feet in the air. Dogbert says, "In retrospect, it was pretty clever of us to rent a third floor command center with no elevator."
Saint Dogbert seeks out technology that has been possessed by the demons of stupidity.
He Happens across a software developer.
Man: I'll make the command easier to remember like CTRL- ALT-F4-DEL"
and if they forget that they can just edit the source code in command. com
perfect
Dogbert: out! out!
Boss: I send your question up the chain of command. I talked to the district manager who talked to his AVP who talked to his VP who talked to his SVP who talked to the CEO. The answer is that we need to shine the braille toad. Dilbert: Do you see any problem with our system?
Dogbert covers his eyes with his paws and says, "I'm so embarrassed . . . I dreamed I died and saw the light of God . . ." Dogbert says to Dilbert who is wearing a bathrobe and holding a flashlight, "I trust you will just let this incident pass without comment." Dilbert says, "I command you to build an ark . . ." Dogbert growls.
Dogbert: Hold still while I exorcise the demons of stupidity that possess you. OUT! OUT! I command you demons of stupidity to be gone!!
The suit is now safe.
The boss: thanks!
The Boss stands in front of a camera and Dogbert sits in a director's chair. Dogbert hands the Boss a script and says, "Stick to the script. Act sincere and beg your customers to forgive you." The Boss looks into the camera and reads, "It was wrong for us to sell keyboards with no 'Q.' We're sorry. We're morons." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch watching the Boss's television commercial. In the advertisement, the Boss says, "We're dumber than squirrels. We hear voices and do what they command. I have broccoli in my socks." Dilbert says, "Good writing." Dogbert responds, "Thanks."
Ned: I enjoyed meeting your staff. Keep up the good work.
Dilbert: This isn't my staff. I report to the guy who reports to you."
Ned: Really? Which one of you reports to me?" Well, that explains why you keep hanging around outside my office.
The Boss: I've been going to your office for years, waiting for you to get off the phone so I could talk to you.
Ned: I've been making fake phone calls for years, hoping the weirdo outside my office would go away." Keep up the good work."
