Communicate Comic Strips
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24 Results for Communicate
View 1 - 10 results for communicate comic strips. Discover the best "Communicate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 08,
2011
Tags #announcements, #meetings, #communicate, #other departments, #criticize, #war on knowledge
Transcript
Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.
Thursday September 08,
2011
Tags #computer software, #computers & peripherals, #conversation, #risk assessment tools, #communicate, #enhance sector
Transcript
Man: We need to enhance our sector-relevant support for a suite of integrated risk assessment tools. Do you understand? Dilbert: Maybe. Is your point that you don't know how to communicate? Man: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then I didn't get it.
Tuesday August 18,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #plastic surgery, #personalities, #bad, #pretend, #other, #communicate, #begging, #trouble
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."
Monday February 01,
1993
Tags #the boss, #peter, #brilliant, #computer, #programmer, #job, #lack, #social, #communicate, #species, #necktie
Transcript
The Boss says to an employee, "Peter, you're a brilliant computer programmer and you like your job." The Boss continues, "Although you lack any social awareness and cannot communicate with your species, I decided to promote you to management." The Boss holds out a tie and says, "Don't be afraid . . . It's called a necktie." Peter shakes and cowers in his chair.
Monday October 06,
1997
Tags #Men, #communicate, #only talks, #Sports, #computers, #job, #tv, #sex, #jokes, #greek mythology, #date, #likes, #dislikes, #business
Transcript
Dilbert is on a date. His date says, "I like men who know how to communicate..." The date says, "But not a man you only talks about sports, or computers, or his job, or tv, or sex, or jokes, or his accomplishments..." Dilbert says, "That would leave... Greek mythology... and you." The date says, "No Greek stuff."
Sunday October 22,
1995
Tags #obstacle to success, #poor graphics, #inability to communicate, #beyond communication, #think clearly, #high five, #broke code, #participate, #meetings
Transcript
The Boss puts a transparency on the overhead projector and says, "This graphic shows our biggest obstacle to success." The diagram shows an arrow through a series of acronyms. Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at the conference table looking confused. Wally asks, "Are you saying our biggest obstacle to success is poor graphics?" Alice replies, "I think he's saying our biggest problem is his overall inability to communicate." Dilbert says, "I think his point goes beyond communication. He's showing us that he doesn't even THINK clearly!" Wally says, "That's it!" Alice says, "High five!!" Wally shouts, "You broke the code!" The Boss says, "You know how I said you should participate more in meetings? I didn't mean it."
Thursday January 27,
2000
Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired
Transcript
The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.
Saturday February 19,
2000
Tags #prison morse code, #communicate, #secret message, #cubicle wall, #sent email, #futile, #tapping out, #language
Transcript
Asok the intern is at Wally's cubicle. He tells Wally: "I created a prison Morse code so we can communicate during the day." Asok continues: "Tap your secret messages on the cubicle wall." Wally begins to tap a message to Asok. Asok decodes the message: "I S E N T Y O U E M A I L."
Sunday July 11,
2010
Tags #meeting, #change, #communicate, #clear, #moron, #mock, #tease, #fuh, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "A successful transformation requires employees to feel ownership for the change." Alice says, "Change? What change?" Dilbert says, "Is there something we don't know?" The Boss says, "It's important that everyone has clear roles and responsibilities." Alice says, "What are you trying to tell us? Should we stop working on our projects?" The Boss says, "I'll keep you engaged and energized with my clear communication." The Boss says, "And as your leader, I will role-model the desired change." Alice says, "If he's our role model, I guess we need to act like morons who can't communicate." The Boss thinks, "I need new people." FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH
Sunday February 29,
2004
Tags #boss's boss, #misinformed, #mismanaged, #oss confused, #poorly managed, #dont communicate
Transcript
wally: "Gaaa! Our boss's is coming!" Dilbert: "Where?" Zoop "Uh oh." "Hello, head count." Dilbert: "I need to run, tons of work." "Why? Are you poorly managed?" Dilbert: "No, we have everything we need! Everything is perfect." "So... was your boss confused, lying or misinformed when he asked me for more funding for your budget?" Dilbert: "Noooo! Ignore me! I don't know anything." "Hmm." "Dilbert says you don't communicate with the staff and don't need money." Dilbert: "Phew! I'm glad that's over."