Search Results for "company like family"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #borrow pen, #company like family, #culture, #search computer, #sign docuemnt, #test for dugs, #trust and respect, #manipulate

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2003's comic on:


Tags #reamin annoynomous, #blank card, #just like family, #my card, #business card

View Transcript

Transcript

Matt: "Hi, I'm Matt. It's my first day here." Dilbert: "I'm Dilbert." "And this is..." Wally: "I'd rather not say." "I prefer to remain anonymous, so you won't feel comfortable asking me for anything later on." Wally: "Here's my card. It's blank." Dilbert: "The phrase that you're least likely to hear today is, 'We're just like family.'" "Are you worried that he'll turn over the card and see your name?" Wally: "No." Dilbert: "Was that MY card?" Wally: "I've been handing them out for years."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #environmental issues, #children, #interviews, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Jim, our company is family-friendly and very green." The Boss says, "We're also good at setting priorities, so if I get a chance to sell your kids for a handful of carbon credits, I'll do it." The Boss says, "He was less green than I had hoped."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #mood swings, #deficit, #piece of dirt, #Family, #defect, #defected worker

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a new co-worker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, this is Irene. I don't yet know what her defect is." Irene yells, "Stop being rude to me, you piece of dirt!!!" Irene hugs Dilbert and says, "We're like family now." The Boss says, "I'm thinking: mood swings."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #mother, #son, #sarcastic, #plant, #flower pot, #web only company, #imagination, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My company is going to a web-only business model." Mom says, "That's terrific." Mom says, "What's phase three? Does it involve operating only in your own imagination?" Dilbert says, "Be nice." Mom says, "Maybe you can help me grow this plant back into a seed."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #great turnaround ceo, #turn around, #head in hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #efficiency experts, #gloves, #foot in glove

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll teach you the best practices of companies that have nothing in common with yours. Those practices will fit your company like a foot in a glove. Boss: Close enough. Dogbert Consults

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #raise, #married with children, #new family, #benefit expenses, #laser like focus, #procreating

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Give me a raise or else I'll get married and have children. My new family would increase your benefit expenses and distract me from my laser-like focus on work. Boss: I will gladly pay extra to prevent you from procreating. Wally: Word it any way you like.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tire, #company, #imply, #child's, #safety, #product, #tires, #stinkin', #extended, #Family, #dog, #animal, #animal behavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in the chair watching television. A voice says, "You've heard the 'other' tire company imply that your child's safety depends on its product . . ." The announcer continues, "That's nothing. If you don't buy OUR tires your whole stinkin' extended family will croak!!!" The announcer continues, "And don't get too attached to the family dog, either. Ha ha ha ha ha!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new company slogan, #act like you own the comapny, #fired marketing dept, #security escort

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm happy to report that I have embraced the new company slogan 'Act like you own the company.'" Wally continues, "This morning I fired the marketing department and had security escort them out." The Boss replies, "That's not exactly what we had in mind . . ." As a security guard taps on the Boss's shoulder, Wally says, "Fortunately I anticipated your reaction."