Company News Letter Comic Strips

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1000 Results for Company News Letter

View 1 - 10 results for company news letter comic strips. Discover the best "Company News Letter" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company news letter, #compile beta test, #in memorium, #newsletter

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The Boss: Wally, are you busy? Wally: Yes, I'm reading the 'In Memoriam' section of our company newsletter." The Boss: When you're done, can you compile the beta test results?" Wally: Sure. Just as soon as I get the data from... Larry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #news letter, #leadership, #sound stupid

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Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #interesting presentation, #spies, #slides, #new prodcut, #kills mold, #mildew, #software, #placebo effect, #stunned silence, #engineering

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Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #man, #george lucas, #Dogbert, #news, #sub-contract, #dan, #quayle, #muppets, #film studio, #faked, #special, #effects, #company

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A man says to George Lucas, "There's a dog here to see you, sir. He may be on to our operation." Lucas asks Dogbert, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I came to find out if the news on television is all faked by your special effects company." Lucas and Dogbert sit at a table. Lucas says, "Actually, we don't do ALL of the news here. We had to sub-contract the Dan Quayle stuff to the Muppets." Dogbert says, "I knew that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #good, #bad, #news, #companies, #compete, #small, #nimble, #rate, #smallest, #company

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've got good news and bad news." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that huge companies like us can't compete against small, nimble companies. The good news is that at this rate WE'LL be the smallest company around." Dilbert, Alice and Ted shout, "We're number one! Yes!!" The Boss thinks, "What am I doing wrong here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #good news, #bad news, #power utility, #company, #new vp opeartaions, #offcie, #wheel attached, #generator, #business

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1989's comic on:


Tags #national news, #critics, #management, #megaslime corporation, #repitilian, #aliens

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching a television news report. The newscaster says, "And in national news . . ." The newscaster continues, "Critics today accused the management of Megaslime Corporation of being hideous reptilian aliens bent on enslaving the earth." The newscaster continues, "A spokesman for the company denied the charge." Dilbert says, "Whew!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bad news 1985, #replacing doctor, #registered nurse, #fired nurse, #aspirin, #vending machine, #vending machine revenue

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The caption says, "Bad news in 1985." Dilbert, the Boss and another man sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're replacing the company doctor with a registered nurse." The caption says, "Bad news in 1990." The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We fired the nurse and put the aspirin and tourniquets in the vending machine." The caption says, "Bad news in 1995." The Boss holds a mallet behind his back as he says to Dilbert and Wally, "We've been asked to increase vending machine revenue by fifteen percent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #authentic slave owners, #career expectations, #casual day, #company logo, #elfin, #new record forprofits, #petite, #slave labor, #small, #t hsirts

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The Boss approaches Dilbert and Alice carrying a box. He says, "Great news! The company set a new record for profits!" The Boss continues, "That means t-shirts for everyone!" The Boss continues, "You can choose from sizes 'small,' 'petite' or 'elfin.'" Alice holds up a shirt and asks, "Shouldn't these have the company name or logo on them?" The Boss replies, "Hey, that's an idea for next year!" Alice reads the label and says, "It's 1 percent cotton, 99 percent 'miscellaneous' and all hand-made by authentic slave laborers." Dilbert replies, "That's great! With slave labor you don't have the problem that the shirts made on Fridays aren't as good!" Alice asks, "Do you ever worry that our career expectations have gotten too low?" Dilbert says, "Don't go there, Alice." Wally walks in wearing a small shirt and says, "'Casual day,' here I come!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #ten percent raise, #fifteen percent more, #twenty percent, #no budget, #raises, #give big raises, #reward for leaving work, #price sheet

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Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "I want a ten-percent raise." The Boss replies, "There's no budget for raises." Dilbert holds up a letter and says, "I have an offer from another company that will pay fifteen percent more." The Boss says, "I'll give you twenty percent if you stay." Dilbert says, "I thought you said there's no budget for raises." The Boss replies, "Well . . . It's supposed to be a secret but . . ." The Boss says, "Our policy is to give big raises to people who spend their time interviewing for other jobs." Dilbert tells Alice and Wally, "Good news! The secret company policy is to reward disloyalty!" They cheer and shout, "Yes! Yippee!" Wally asks, "What's the reward for leaving work early?" Dilbert replies, "He wouldn't show me the price sheet."