Compared Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

43 Results for Compared

View 1 - 10 results for compared comic strips. Discover the best "Compared" comics from Dilbert.com.

Compared To What

Thank you for voting.
Compared To What - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #referee, #terrible, #compared, #imagine, #penalty, #flag, #incorrect, #duh

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, the meeting referee. Man: Your plan is terrible. Dilbert: Compared to what? Man: Compared to the plan I imagine could exist, but doesn't. Duh. Dogbert: Penalty flag for incorrect us of "duh."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #temperature, #internal, #organs, #compared, #bout, #bubonic, #plague, #repaired, #mower, #co-worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three men sit at a table eating lunch. A man says, "Yeah . . . I had a temperature of 147 degrees and they had to remove my internal organs." Another man says, "Well, that's nothing compared to my bout with bubonic plague last week." A man with no head asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time I repaired my own lawn mower?" Another man thinks, "Not again."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2002's comic on:

Tags #five year plan, #compared to plan, #dust heap, #history, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pulls a file out of his drawer and thinks, "What's this? It's our old five- year plan!" He opens the file and thinks, "I wonder how we did compared to the plan." The Boss approaches Dilbert and asks, "Have we relegated Microsoft to the dust heap of history?" Dilbert responds, "Shhh! They might hear!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2011's comic on:

Tags #couples, #dating, #mobile (cell) phones, #ex boyfreind, #entertainment stabdard, #samrtphone, #smartphone scale, #lying larry, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I used to compare all men to my ex-boyfriend. Now I compare all men to the entertainment standard of my smartphone. Dilbert: I only scored a two on the smartphone scale, but I was a solid five compared to someone named "lying Larry."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2011's comic on:

Tags #comparing a task, #criticism, #employees, #executives, #quality is bad, #your imagination, #time, #quality, #boss, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #electronics, #devices, #pager, #calculator, #watch, #technical, #superiority, #engineer, #challenges, #dominance, #ritualistic, #compass, #wireless, #fax

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is wearing a belt with several electronic devices attached to it, says, "Wally, I notice that all you have is a pager and a calculator watch." Wally thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert continues, "That's pathetic compared to my vast array of personal electronics. Do you yield to my technical superiority?" The caption says, "When a male engineer challenges another for dominance of the pack, there is a brief ritualistic battle rarely seen by outsiders." Wally says, "Stay back, I've got a compass!!" Dilbert yells, "Wireless fax!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1993's comic on:

Tags #babies, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #instruction, #book, #newborn, #expert, #cheese steak

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dilbert asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm writing an instruction book for newborn babies." Dilbert says, "You don't know anything about babies." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I'm not an expert, but compared to the people who have babies . . ." A man holds a baby upside down. A woman holding a sandwich asks, "Which end do I put the cheese steak in?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #books, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters the room. Dogbert shouts, "You fool! You are nothing compared to me! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you been speed-reading my self-help books again?" Dogbert replies, "The idiots should put warning labels on those things."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1994's comic on:

Tags #donate blood, #good for society, #too comepetetive, #thirsty

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and a man stand in line at the blood drive. The man says, "I don't mind donating blood . . . It's good for society . . ." The man continues, "But I'm worried that our company is getting too competitive about how much we give compared to other companies." Dilbert leaves the blood drive saying, "Man, I'm thirsty!!" His head and body have shrunk to half their normal size.