Complexity Of Real World Comic Strips
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469 Results for Complexity Of Real World
View 1 - 10 results for complexity of real world comic strips. Discover the best "Complexity Of Real World" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 08,
2007
Tags #spreadsheet, #terrible job, #boos, #meeting, #office, #poorly conceived, #complexity of real world, #wrong cells, #numbers don't lie, #business
Transcript
The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."
Tuesday April 03,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #subsidary, #communism, #capitalism, #economics, #appreciation, #real world, #engineers
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm sending you to Elbonia to open our new subsidiary." Dilbert asks, "Elbonia?" Dilbert continues, "But they only renounced communism last week!! They don't understand capitalism or economics. They have no appreciation of the real world." As he packs his suitcase Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . He thinks they'll make fine engineers."
Friday January 11,
2008
Tags #design, #real world, #uninformed criticisms, #meeting, #boss, #business
Transcript
The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.
Friday May 14,
2021
Bigot In Your Mind
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #marriage, #avoid, #bigot, #mind, #self-deception, #real world, #Win, #hire
Transcript
boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?
Saturday December 24,
2005
Tags #power point zone, #real wolrd, #bullet points, #imaginary prodcutivity, #eight lsides
Transcript
I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"
Saturday June 12,
2010
Tags #matrix management, #neo, #earbuds, #ipod, #computer, #powerpoint, #die, #scared, #technology
Transcript
Wally says, "This is where you jack into matrix management, Neo." Wally says, "Insert these iPod ear buds and fire up PowerPoint. The reality you once knew is gone." Wally says, "One more thing: If your computer dies during powerpoint, your career dies in the real world."
Sunday November 07,
2010
Tags #meeting, #slide show, #test, #waste of time, #arms out, #angry, #cranky, #data, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."
Sunday November 12,
2006
Transcript
"Before you energize my team with your proposal, let me introduce everyone." "This is Wally. He'll show no reaction because he hopes apathy will kill our idea before it creates work." "This is Alice. She'll leave halfway through your presentation to take a phone call." "This is Asok. He'll be enthusiastic because he doesn't understand how the real world works." "This is Dilbert. He'll tell you why your idea is impossible." "This is Carol. She'll spend the entire meeting wondering if that's your real hair." "And this is Ted. He gave his two-weeks' notice last week." "And I like to keep my eyes closed the entire time because of my allergies. Go."
Friday May 24,
2013
Tags #obliviousness, #pride, #incompetent, #phd, #pretending allowed
Transcript
Coworker: I have no real-world experience and I am incompetent at everything. But unlike any of you, I have a Ph.D., and that means you have to take me seriously. Dilbert: Is pretending allowed? Coworker: Totally. It all looks the same to me.
Wednesday January 23,
2019
No Recognisiton
Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations
Transcript
Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.