Confidential Questionnaire Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

19 Results for Confidential Questionnaire

View 1 - 10 results for confidential questionnaire comic strips. Discover the best "Confidential Questionnaire" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1994's comic on:

Tags #confidential questionnaire, #management class, #style of management, #instructor sees, #trusts me, #sneaked a look, #at answers, #ratings

View Transcript

Transcript

"I filled out the confidential questionnaire about your style of management." "I hope it's useful for that management class you're taking. Only your instructor sees those, right?" "Right." "I think I played that about right." "Ooh, good marks! And it says he trusts me too!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #company, #survey, #attitudes, #anonymous, #retribution, #dog eared, #phone, #Number, #confidential, #green, #pen, #marker, #eskimo, #objectives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dilbert, do you have a minute?" The Boss continues, "The company is doing an survey of employee attitudes about their bosses." The Boss continues, "It's totally anonymous, so you don't have to fear any retribution." The Boss opens an envelope and says, "Oops! It looks like your questionnaire is a bit dog-eared." The Boss continues, "I'll put my phone number on the confidential envelope in case you need me." The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "You can use this green marker pen." The Boss adds, "Oh, and I took the liberty of checking off your ethnic background as Eskimo. It's just a statistical thing." Dilbert reads, "1. Does your boss clearly communicate your objectives?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #tim, #working, #days, #secret, #project, #confidential, #proprietary, #important, #sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a man, "Hi, Tim. What are you working on these days?" Tim replies, "A secret project." Tim continues, "Very, very secret. Confidential and proprietary. Real hush-hush." Dilbert says, "It sounds important." Tim points a gun at Dilbert and says, "Just move along."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1994's comic on:

Tags #confidential, #ethics offcie, #weasel boy, #ethics expert

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The company hired an ethics expert to help us through the gray areas." "Your calls to the ethics office are completely confidential." Dogbert: "Thanks for sharing that. I own you now, Weasel-boy."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2004's comic on:

Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2010's comic on:

Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #dig grave, #shovel, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2010's comic on:

Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #idiot, #question, #placebo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need answers to these questions for a confidential project. I can't tell you more." Coworker says, "I'm a complete idiot and even I can deduce from your questions what the project must be." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, so some of you idiots are getting placebo questions." Coworker says, "Well played."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2003's comic on:

Tags #budget for research and development, #confidential, #witty, #appreciation, #laugh, #teeth fall out

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "Ted, what's the budget for Research and Development?" Ted: "It's confidential. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Hee hee!" Alice: "I've never heard that one. It's very witty." Alice: "Allow me to show my appreciation with the following fake laugh." "HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" "HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Alice: "Those are my real teeth. I need them back."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2013's comic on:

Tags #hypocrisy, #respect, #succeed, #treat each other well, #video recording, #google glasses, #recording confidential info, #fired, #insulting, #final check, #name calling, #ironic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2011's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #stop level meeting, #confidentail, #retribution, #every day retribution

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your annual skip-level meeting with my boss is next week. Everything you say about me is confidential. But just to be on the safe side, I scheduled my retribution for every day of the following year.