Conflict Of Interest Comic Strips
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62 Results for Conflict Of Interest
View 1 - 10 results for conflict of interest comic strips. Discover the best "Conflict Of Interest" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 17,
1995
Tags #financial advisor, #invest, #dogcart deferred earnings, #fund, #conflict of interest, #client, #interest
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a pillow on the floor working on his laptop. Dogbert tells him, "I'm going into business as a financial advisor." Dilbert says, "Sounds hard." Dogbert says, "It's easy. I'll tell all my clients to invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund.'" Dilbert asks, "Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Dogbert replies, "Only if I show interest in the client."
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Friday July 19,
2002
Tags #accounting firm, #headed for bankruptcy, #conflict of interest, #t shirt design business
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "How could our accounting firm not notice that we were heading for bankruptcy?" The Boss replies, "Maybe there was a conflict of interest with their T-shirt design business." Dogbert holds up a T-shirt in front of Ratbert and says, "This one says, 'I'm with bankrupt' and it has an arrow." Ratbert replies, "Hee Hee!"
Friday March 30,
2012
Tags #dieting & weight control, #funerals, #bereavement policy, #days off, #dies young, #grocery shop, #conflict
Transcript
Carol: I've been reading our bereavement policy and I found a problem. I get three days off if my husband eats nothing but unhealthy food and dies young. And I'm the one who does our grocery shopping. Boss: Sounds like a conflict of interest. Carol: I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it.
Tuesday December 14,
2004
Tags #stock guy, #conflicts of interest, #knocked out, #fist down throat, #violence, #crime
Transcript
Alice: I didn't like the way he was looking at me. The Boss: "This isn't good." "He was the only stock analyst who had a "buy" recommendation on our company." Alice: "I think we're a "hold" now." The Boss: "Where will we find another one with so much conflict of interest??!"
Thursday April 16,
2020
Show Interest In Employees
Tags #appointment, #business, #doctor, #employees, #hate, #interest, #leave, #life, #managers & supervisors, #prank, #question
Transcript
alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.
Monday September 21,
2020
Conflict Resolution
Tags #managers & supervisors, #anger, #office workers, #conflict, #resolution, #discussion, #temperature, #idiots, #yammering, #sarcasm, #insult
Transcript
boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.
Monday January 16,
2012
Tags #apology, #bald, #business ethics, #company lawyer, #discrimination, #lawyers, #nearsighted, #one billion, #short, #statue
Transcript
Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.
Saturday March 10,
2012
Tags #dating, #confident men, #phonies, #interest, #Opinion, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: I like men who are confident in any situation. Dilbert: Within that subset of men, do you prefer the phonies or the ones who are too dumb to know when they shouldn't be confident? Dogbert: What went wrong this time? Dilbert: I showed interest in her opinion.
Saturday June 20,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #ethel, #credit, #banks, #interest rate, #filming, #television, #ads, #Dogbert, #attitude
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a customer service desk at a bank. Dilbert says, "I'd like to apply for a 'Bank of Ethel' credit card." The woman behind the desk says, "Sit down and shut up." The woman says, "It's 21% interest plus surprisingly high annual fees. We'll do a credit check and a full body cavity search." Back at home, Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert wearing just his boxers. Dilbert says, ". . . And I had to smile the whole time because they were filming it for their television ads." Dogbert says, "You have to admire their attitude."
Tuesday December 01,
1992
Tags #alien, #Dilbert, #disguise, #space, #stock market, #Dogbert, #power, #antennae, #surrender, #interest rates
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a pair of antennae. A cameraman and two news reporters stand in front of him. Dogbert says into the microphones, "As my antennae clearly prove, I'm a space alien with incredible powers." At home, Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert on tv. Dogbert says, "I call on the nations of the world to surrender. Otherwise, I will cause your stock markets to fall." Later, Dilbert and Dogbert watch television together. The newscaster says, "The market fell five points today. Analysts blame interest rates and aliens." Dogbert says, "Yes!"