Considering Comic Strips
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15 Results for Considering
View 1 - 10 results for considering comic strips. Discover the best "Considering" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 27,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #detective, #research, #potential, #romantic, #partner, #considering, #dating, #worried, #bill, #ego, #emotional, #depth, #conversations, #cheating, #body, #mind, #normal, #bad, #news
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Detective research on your potential romantic partner." A woman says, "I'm considering dating a man, but I'm worried." Dogbert asks, "What's his name?" The woman answers, "Bill . . . His name is Bill." Dogbert says, "Ahh . . . Bill . . . Yes, I know all about Bill." Dogbert continues, "Bill has a huge ego. All he thinks about is himself." Dogbert continues, "He has no emotional depth and he thinks of your conversations as mere chatter. He wants your body, not your mind." Dogbert continues, "Several times a day, Bill imagines himself with different women." The woman looks upset. The customer says, "Darn. This time I thought I'd found a normal guy." Dogbert says, "I have some really bad news for you."
Wednesday May 18,
2011
Tags #happiness, #ignorance (knowledge), #idiot, #health benefits, #social stigma, #healthy, #transition, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.
Tuesday May 31,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #office buildings, #open workspace, #environemnt, #crying baby spunds, #more distractions
Transcript
Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.
Monday October 16,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #business, #deposit, #money, #debt, #ethel
Transcript
Dilbert stands at a teller window at the Bank of Ethel. The teller says, "I spent all of your money. Terribly sorry." Dilbert says, "You what?!" Dilbert says angrily, "This is outrageous! How can you spend all of MY money?!!" The woman responds, "Oh, Mr. Moneybags, like it was SO MUCH." Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "Oooh! I am ACTIVELY considering taking my business elsewhere!" The teller asks, "Are you making a deposit or just wasting my time?"
Saturday November 25,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #acupuncture, #relieve stress, #needles, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I've been considering acupuncture as a way to relieve stress." Dogbert asks, "The theory here is that sticking large needles into your body will help you relax?" Dilbert replies, "It sounds silly when YOU say it." Dogbert says, "Sometimes sarcasm helps us think more clearly."
Monday December 04,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #plastic surgery, #elephant man, #ivory, #spare parts
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert leans against his feet. Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Says here that Michael Jackson is considering even more plastic surgery." Dogbert says, "That explains why he wanted to buy the remains of the 'Elephant Man.'" Dilbert asks, "For spare parts?" Dogbert replies, "Well, it wasn't for the ivory."
Tuesday October 07,
2003
Tags #tuesday, #need by tuesday, #agreement, #yelling now, #unreliable
Transcript
Dilbert: "I absolutely need your input by Tuesday." Ted: "Ok." Dilbert: "Considering that you're massively unreliable, I'd like to save time by yelling at you now." "YOU SAID YOU'D DO IT BY TUESDAY!!!" Ted: "Umm.. I was too busy."
Thursday July 08,
2004
Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails
Transcript
"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."
Thursday December 04,
2008
Tags #boss, #idea, #low staus, #not enjoy it, #power, #speaking truth to power, #speaks back
Transcript
Asok: I have a great idea. Would you like to hear it? The boss: Well, considering your low status in the company and how busy I am I would not enjoy it one bit. Asok: I like speaking truth to power, but I don't like when it speaks back.
Monday September 25,
2017
Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack
Tags #rumors, #accusation, #lying, #obstinacy
Transcript
Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.