Consulting Firm Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

76 Results for Consulting Firm

View 1 - 10 results for consulting firm comic strips. Discover the best "Consulting Firm" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consulting firm, fixing business strategies, own industry, doing bad, never mention

View Transcript

Transcript

Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management consulatant, consulting firm, worthless, managing, consulting, hired

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You should hire me as your management consultant." Man: "We're a management consulting firm. We don't need a management consultant to consult us." Dogbert: "Are you saying that management consulting is worthless?" Man: "No, I'm saying we already know everything about management consulting." Dogbert: "How can you be so sure I can't help you when you don't know what my advice will be?" Man: "Okay, you're hired. What's your advice?" Dogbert: "Beats me. I'll have to ask my management consultant."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consulting form, bushel, money, twenty hours of work, good reasons, clients, travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on top of a dresser. A man in a suit stands holdinga basket full of dollar bills. The man says, "Come work for our consulting firm and you will get this bushel of money." The man says, "All we want in return is twenty hours of work each day..." The man says, "...With clients who hate you for a variety of good reasons." Ratbert says, "At least there's no travel right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, public realtions firm, persuade media, negative stores, competitor, ethical, public relations form, defaming company, defame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm. His job is to persuade the media to write negative stories about our competitor. Dilbert: Is that ethical? Dogbert: I assure you that your competitor is doing the same thing to you. They're paying a public relations firm a fortune to steer the media toward defaming your company. Dilbert: Who did they hire to defame us. Dogbert: Probably someone awesome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, the boss, consulting, job, questioning, employees, underpaid, problems, fault, lard, head

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and the Boss walk out of the Boss's office. Dogbert says, "My fee for business consulting is $200 an hour." The Boss says, "Fair enough." Dogbert says, "I'll spend the day questioning your employees to identify problem areas." Later that day, Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert reads a document and says, "It's unanimous. They're underpaid and all the problems are your fault, 'Lard Head.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dogbert, law firm, accounting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm from the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert and Dogbert. I'm suing you for draining the life force out of your employees." Dogbert holds a rag and says, "After being drained of life, employees are forced to leave the company. The lucky ones get jobs as rags for a car wash, like Joey Pishkin here." The Boss blows his nose on a rag. Dogbert says to the rag he's holding, "What Joey? That's Marge from accounting???"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, the boss, management, consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk next to a large binder. Dogbert says, "Here's my consulting report on your company." Dogbert says, "I had no insights so I bulked it up by adding witty analogies." The Boss reads, "His head was like a hollow putty ball attacked by two pointy dust bunnies." Dogbert asks, "Vivid, isn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, consulting company, new course, business, extra brains, liver, ratbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business. My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos. Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso? Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project leader, dogcart consulting, shall do bidding, endless variety, expediations, slab of liver, external brain pack, career low

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert consulting, liver, slab of liver, harvard mba, good debaters, brains wrapped

View Transcript

Transcript

"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."