co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss.
dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it.
later that day.
dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context.
boss yelling: liar!!!
alice: why are you looking at your phone while i'm answering your question?
dilbert: because our answer has nothing to do with my question, but i didn't want to be rude and interrupt you.
alice: i'm giving important context.
dilbert: text me when that part is done.
Company Lawyer
Dilbert says, "I signed a software contract without getting your input because I was in a hurry." Dilbert says, "Now the software company claims they can harvest my organs." Dilbert says, "Do you see any holes in their contract?" Lawyer says, "They mention holes... in the context of your torso."
Boss: I can't sign off on this technology plan because I don't understand it. Dilbert: To be fair, you wouldn't understand any technology plan, including the "do nothing" scenario. Is this one of those cases where context isn't helpful?
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down. Our senior management blames the weak economy." Dilbert responds, "So they're saying that profits went UP because of great management and DOWN because of a weak economy?" The Boss responds, annoyed, "These meetings will go faster if you stop putting things in context." Dilbert replies quietly, "Sorry."
"I'm trying to make him lose his language skills."
"I've been using words in the wrong context and waiting for him to adopt them."
"Carol, could you truculent this doctrinaire to the obelisk?"
"Cervically."
Boss: I'm what you call a natural leader because of my communication skills. Dilbert: Did I miss the context for this conversation? I have no idea why you're talking. Boss: Why does everything you say annoy me? Is it because you're a great communicator?
Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.
Boss: The new business school rankings are out. Dilbert: Is that the list that is based on the votes of people who have no direct knowledge of those schools? Boss: You ruin everything. Dilbert: Context is not your friend.
boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes.
tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation.
boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context.
tina: why does my stomach hurt?
