Continuous Cahnges Comic Strips

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11 Results for Continuous Cahnges

View 1 - 10 results for continuous cahnges comic strips. Discover the best "Continuous Cahnges" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2007's comic on:


Tags #six months, #task, #simple task, #continuous cahnges, #unclear communication, #short work days, #being lazy

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The Boss: "Why did it take six months to complete this simple task?" Dilbert: "Because of your continuous changes, your unclear communication, and your short work days." The boss: "I'm looking for something more along the lines of you being lazy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #funding, #continuous harping, #expensive consultant, #analyze budget, #chaos, #complexity, #simulations

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hostile work environment, #continuous pressure, #work, #work and drink, #forty cups, #cutting back

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Wally enters The Boss' office and says, "You're creating a hostile work environment." Wally continues, "It's like there's continuous pressure to work." Wally shakes and exclaims, "But I'm only one person; I can't work and drink coffee!" The Boss replies, "I'm cutting you back to forty cups a day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #accusations, #anxiety, #continuous barrage, #firewall, #inevitable villager, #pessimism, #villagers with torches

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to install the new firewall. Dilbert: Noooo!!!! Why me? Why me? The firewall guy gets blamed for every problem. People will say "Everything worked until you changed the firewall." There will be no rest for me. I will have to defend myself against a continuous barrage of accusations. It's always the firewall! Everyone blames the stinkin' firewall! I surrender to the inevitable! Villagers, grab your pitchforks and torches! Boss: How did he get that way? Wally: I blame the firewall.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #cahnges, #corporate culture, #longer hours, #without pay, #management says same, #team, #vapid slogans, #notepads, #useless meetings, #culture change, #fad menu, #rule by fear, #business

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've decided to make some changes to our corporate culture." Wally says, "Let me guess what that means." Wally continues, "We'll work longer hours without extra pay . . ." Wally continues, "Your management style will remain exactly the same because Lord knows there's no need for YOU to change." Dilbert adds, "We'll start calling ourselves a 'team' so it doesn't seem like work!" Alice covers her eyes and says, "I predict there will be vapid slogans printed on notepads, and maybe some useless meetings." Dilbert says, "She's psychic!" Dilbert asks, "Is is just me or is the culture already changing?" Wally shouts, "I feel it! We're changing!" Wally looks at the agenda and asks, "What's next on the fad menu?" The Boss thinks, "I wonder if it's too late to rule by fear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #ask unnecessary cahnges, #stop ahead, #analysis unnecessary, #science

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The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, did you finish the analysis for tomorrow?" Wally answers, "No." Wally continues, "I'm waiting until the last minute so you won't have time to ask for unnecessary changes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "I'm already one step ahead of him- the analysis itself is unnecessary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #unnesccesry cahnges, #irrelevant document, #while and dance, #working, #be happy too

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The Boss: I made a few suggestions. Dilbert: I'll be happy to make these unnecessary changes to this irrelevant document. The Boss: Stop acting happy. Dilbert: Can I whistle and dance while I work?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #work, #without supervsion, #teal, #hassle, #show himself out

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The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "No. I need continuous supervision to keep me from stealin' and harassin'." The boss: "I think we're done here." Candidate: "Do you mind if I show myself out?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #agreement, #areas of expertise, #business units, #confusion, #consolidate shared services, #diagnostic review, #evil director, #from centers, #invoice, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources." man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review." man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise." man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement." man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?" man says, "Which answer gets us hired?" Catbert says, "Try yes." Man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2007's comic on:


Tags #make cahnges, #history suggests, #infinyte loop, #furious ball, #wild about font, #no hope finsihing

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The Boss: Make these changes and run it by me again. Dilbert: "history suggests I have entered an infinite loop of making changes with no hope of finishing." "My life is a furious ball of nothing." The Boss: "And I'm not wild about the font."