Contradiction Comic Strips
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4 Results for Contradiction
View 1 - 4 results for contradiction comic strips. Discover the best "Contradiction" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 22,
2004
Tags #resources, #project, #credibility, #contradiction, #ruining credibility
Transcript
Dilbert: "And that's why we can't put any more resources on your project." The Boss: "Sure we can." Dilbert: "Gaaaa!!! Why do you keep ruining my credibility?!!!" The Boss: "Good cop, bad cop." Dilbert: "If there is a god, please KILL ME NOW!!!" The Boss: "Gum?"
Wednesday November 25,
2009
Tags #sitting, #meeting, #idea, #ridicule, #contradiction, #misunderstood, #stupidity, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need more of what the management experts call 'Employee engagement.'" The boss says, "I don't know the details, but it has something to do with you idiots working harder for the same pay." Dilbert says, "Is anything different on your end?" The boss says, "I think I'm supposed to be happier."
Sunday August 02,
2009
Tags #sitting, #meeting, #award, #incentive, #contradiction, #unimportant, #ridiculous, #business
Transcript
The boss says, "I want you three to put together a teamwork award program." Wally says, "If we do a good job, can we give ourselves the award?" The boss says, "No." Alice says, "Great. Now I have no incentive to do a good job on this award thing." The boss says, "Keeping your job should be all the incentive you need." Dilbert says, "Then why does anyone need a teamwork award?" Wally says, "Let's just slap something together and randomly nominate people." Asok says, "I got a teamwork award and yet I feel no different." Dilbert says, "Yup."
Wednesday June 20,
2018
We Need To Talk
Tags #contradiction, #argument, #disagreement
Transcript
Boss: The software upgrade will be ready by Friday. Dilbert: Actually, that's when we will start writing it. Boss: And it will save us twenty million dollars. Dilbert: Actually, it will cost a million dollars and save nothing. Boss: We need to talk. Dilbert: We do? I'm not feeling that.