Control Killing Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

214 Results for Control Killing

View 1 - 10 results for control killing comic strips. Discover the best "Control Killing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2007's comic on:

Tags #help alice, #argument, #team work, #control killing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My accomplishment this week was helping Alice finish her project in a timely manner." Alice: "You didn't do anything to help me." Wally: "Sure I did." "Remember when I came to your cubicle to ask for some data I need for my project?" "You said you were too busy, and shooed me away." Alice: "If I had insisted on doing my job, you would have had less time to do yours." Wally: "It's called teamwork." "Are we still big on that?" Alice: "Must control...First...Of...Death."

Ai Can Control Minds

Thank you for voting.
Ai Can Control Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2018's comic on:

Tags #control, #intelligence, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.

Social Media Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Social Media Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2019's comic on:

Tags #control, #social media, #selfie, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2012's comic on:

Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1989's comic on:

Tags #fashion, #different, #notice, #control, #bold

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Notice anything different, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing THREE pens, not just two." Dogbert says, "That's a pretty bold fashion statement." Dilbert replies, "I guess I was out of control."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #cool, #guys, #Women, #miss, #killing, #me, #trash, #dating, #love

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I've noticed that all the cool guys use gentle kidding with women. Women must like it." Dilbert walks up behind a woman and says, "Excuse me, miss, does your face hurt? It's killing me!" Dilbert giggles and snorts. Dilbert is stuffed upside down in a garbage can. Dilbert thinks, "The cool guys must hate it when this happens to them."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #deprogram, #control, #dogberts, #cult, #reflexively, #embraces, #ridiculous, #explanation, #dog's, #commands

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs, "I have a plan to deprogram you from the control of Dogbert's cult." Dilbert continues, "My theory is that the brain reflexively embraces the most ridiculous explanation of reality." Dilbert concludes, "So, we just have to think of something more ridiculous than following a dog's commands." Bob asks, "Like listening to you?"