"Catbert: evil director of human resources"
"Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace."
"We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information."
"Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere."
"The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers."
"My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!"
"And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!"
This one goes in the scrapbook."
"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her family got a serious illness. Then she got called to jury duty." "She promised to give me the requirements this afternoon." "It was too hard to come up with my own requirements, so I just copied the requirements from another product." "Is the other product similar to what you want?" "Where are you going with this?"