Coproaret Social Responsibilty Comic Strips

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166 Results for Coproaret Social Responsibilty

View 1 - 10 results for coproaret social responsibilty comic strips. Discover the best "Coproaret Social Responsibilty" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coproaret social responsibilty, cut salary, poor people, extra money, hose stock holders, hurt stock options, pollute less, bucket, river, sludge out, coffee, zesty

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Tina says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What if we pollute less?" Tina exclaims, "Yes, yes! That's what I'm talking about. We could pollute less!" The Boss says, "Okay, take a bucket to the river and see how much of our sludge you can get out." Tina asks, "Where would I put it?" Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or has the coffee improved?" Wally exclaims, "Zesty!"

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Alice Uses Social Media

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Alice Uses Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, careers, competition, deception, trick, flame, internet, technology

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Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!

Boss And Social Media

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Boss And Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, facebook, passion, deception, trick, prank, obliviousness, technology

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Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.

Human Contact Through Social Media

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Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loneliness, antisocial, people, introvert, social media, communication, isolation, technology

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Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, brain-reading, computer, social media, profile, friends, testing, influence, cyborg, ridiculous, phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Social Media Mind Control

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Social Media Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags control, social media, selfie, smartphone

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Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...

Social Distancing

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Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, eighties, health, hug, managers & supervisors, practice, social distancing, virus, coronavirus

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boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Lack Of Social Contact

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Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, pandemic, technology, social, contact, best, week, covid, cope

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Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.

Social Media Poisoning

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Social Media Poisoning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, medical, doctor, social media, poison, defensive, angry, self-control, weight, pounds, shaming, fat, over reaction

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dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!

Fired For Social Media

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Fired For Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, business, technology, employment, fire, offensive, bad, people, twitter, issues, context, sides, associate, monsters

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boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.