Corporate Newsletter Comic Strips
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128 Results for Corporate Newsletter
View 1 - 10 results for corporate newsletter comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Newsletter" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 17,
2008
Tags #gossip, #spreading rumors, #monkey could do, #corporate newsletter, #trick question
Transcript
Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"
Friday December 23,
2011
Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies
Transcript
Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.
Wednesday March 28,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #engineering, #newsletter, #interesting, #pathos, #human, #drama, #Dogbert, #tissues
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to make the engineering newsletter more interesting." Dilbert thinks, "It needs pathos and human drama." Dilbert reads from a printout, "How to cope with the loss of loved data . . ." Dogbert says, "Wait . . . I better get some tissues."
Tuesday July 03,
2012
Tags #bad stocks, #disclose holdings, #money, #newsletter, #stock market, #stock picker, #traded stocks, #pumpanddump
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!
Tuesday November 05,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #pencil, #excalibert, #sharpener, #corporate, #legend, #ceo, #grovel
Transcript
A man says to Dilbert, "You did it! You removed the pencil 'Excalibert' from the sharpener." The caption says, "As corporate legend required, Dilbert became CEO." Dilbert holds Excalibert and three men bow to him. The caption says, "He immediately set about the task of making important decisions." A woman hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's the list of people who didn't grovel sufficiently."
Thursday June 11,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #quality, #brainwashed, #transformed, #fabric, #corporate, #culture, #Wally
Transcript
Dilbert and the other employees walk around the office as if in a trance, saying, "Quality . . . Quality . . . Quality . . ." The Boss thinks, "It's working. All the employees are brainwashed." The Boss yells, "I've done it! I've transformed the very fabric of the corporate culture!" Dilbert says to Wally, "Things sure have changed around here." Wally replies, "Yeah, for example, my arms are tired."
Monday July 27,
1992
Tags #questions, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #technical, #marvel, #desktop, #publishing, #immense, #wisdom
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."
Tuesday July 28,
1992
Tags #exercise, #happiness, #Dogbert, #bob, #newsletter, #clueless, #professional, #wrestling, #home, #device, #looks, #brains, #healthy, #read
Transcript
Dogbert hands Bob the Dinosaur a publication and says, "Bob, here's a copy of my new newsletter for clueless people." Bob reads, "Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless: 1. Professional wrestling is all faked. 2. Nobody ever lost weight on a home exercise device." Bob looks upset as he continues to read, "3. Looks are more important to happiness than brains. 4. If people don't comment on you new hairdo, they hate it." Dogbert says, "It's not healthy to read them all at once, Bob."
Wednesday July 29,
1992
Tags #conversation, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #clever, #typing
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Well, there you are, working on your little newsletter for clueless people . . ." Dilbert continues, "You're probably thinking up some clever little fact that the so-called people would never realize on their own." Dilbert reads the monitor and says, "Let me see . . . 'If you are the only one talking then it is a clue that no conversation is occurring and it is time to leave."
Thursday July 30,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #copy, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #situation, #conversational, #geometry
Transcript
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I brought you a copy of the 'Dogbert Clueletter,' the newsletter for clueless people." Ratbert replies, "No thanks. I used to be clueless but I turned that situation around 360 degrees." Ratbert reads the newsletter, "Dogbert's clues to conversational geometry."