Corporate Policy Comic Strips

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233 Results for Corporate Policy

View 1 - 10 results for corporate policy comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Policy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #policies, #use prodcuts, #will to live, #new corporate policy, #not intended to punish

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Wally, Asok and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new corporate policy is that all employees must use the products we sell." Asok screams and shouts, "What have we done to deserve this??!!!" Asok asks Wally, "So you're saying that many of these policies are NOT intended to be punishments?" Wally replies, "You get used to it after you lose your will to live."

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new corporate policy, #boss reads, #alice, #falls asleep, #boring, #wordy dcoument

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The Boss comes into Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, we have a new corporate policy." The Boss continues, "And I quote..." The Boss begins reading, "'Initiate the description for the criteria of requirements...'" Alice looks on as the Boss continues, "'...By developing a framework for the application architecture...'" Alice's eyes begin to droop and she thinks, "So tired." The Boss continues, "'Consistent with the planning corridor specified in our strategic initiative..." Alice's head rests on the keyboard and she is asleep. The Boss says, "Did you get all that?" The Boss goes into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, come here for a minute?" Wally goes into Alice's cubicle with the Boss and the Boss holds out a piece of paper and asks, "Read this and tell me if she's doing any of it right now."

Stress Typo On Website

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Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

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CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

Company Policy About Dating

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Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business

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Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Actual Company Policy

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Actual Company Policy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #management, #manipulation, #strategy, #vacation, #training, #company policy

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Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?

Suboptimal Barry Dingle

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Suboptimal Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #open-door policy, #corporate culture, #pest

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Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.

No Policy Against Lying

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No Policy Against Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #ted, #evil, #director, #human, #resources, #lying, #policy, #checked

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #health insurance, #reduce expenses, #radiation dosimeters, #wrongness, #policy

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Boss: The company is trying to reduce expenses, so you need to pay for your own radiation dosimeters. Dilbert: We'll just stare at you until you understand the wrongness of that policy. Boss: Still nothing. One hour later

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #hypocrisy, #open door policy, #suggestions, #not importnat, #extra work

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Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies

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Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.