Corporate Strategy Comic Strips
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274 Results for Corporate Strategy
View 1 - 10 results for corporate strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 10,
2007
Tags #corporate strategy, #plan, #consistent, #leveraging platforms, #rewrite plan, #pretend to follow
Transcript
The Boss: "Is your plan consistent with our corporate strategy?" Dilbert: "How would I know?" The Boss: "Don't you know our strategy?" Dilbert: "No. Do you?" The Boss: "Of course I do. It's something about leveraging our platforms." "Does your plan leverage our platforms?" Dilbert: "No, but I can rewrite my plan so it seems as if it does." The Boss: "Good. Go back and do that." "There's no point in having a strategy if you aren't going to pretend to follow it."
Sunday September 07,
2014
Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation
Transcript
CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.
Saturday November 20,
1999
Tags #hacker, #broke into system, #corporate startegy, #post it, #internet, #email address, #technology
Transcript
The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"
Friday October 16,
2015
Dilbert Aligns His Goals
Tags #work, #happiness, #balance, #job, #contentment, #goal, #opposition, #oppose, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.
Wednesday April 29,
2015
Strategy To Get What You Deserve
Tags #Promotion, #recognition, #strategy, #business, #competition
Transcript
Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.
Thursday December 22,
2016
Strategy Document
Tags #strategy, #obliviousness, #insult
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.
Monday July 02,
2018
Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile
Friday October 11,
2019
Lack Of Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing
Transcript
dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?
Saturday January 11,
2020
Old Strategy
Thursday July 30,
2020
We Have No Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #strategy, #meeting, #complain, #cheap, #jealous, #wisdom
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy