Corporate Strategy Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

269 Results for Corporate Strategy

View 1 - 10 results for corporate strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2007's comic on:

Tags #corporate strategy, #plan, #consistent, #leveraging platforms, #rewrite plan, #pretend to follow

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Is your plan consistent with our corporate strategy?" Dilbert: "How would I know?" The Boss: "Don't you know our strategy?" Dilbert: "No. Do you?" The Boss: "Of course I do. It's something about leveraging our platforms." "Does your plan leverage our platforms?" Dilbert: "No, but I can rewrite my plan so it seems as if it does." The Boss: "Good. Go back and do that." "There's no point in having a strategy if you aren't going to pretend to follow it."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2014's comic on:

Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1999's comic on:

Tags #hacker, #broke into system, #corporate startegy, #post it, #internet, #email address, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"

Dilbert Aligns His Goals

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Aligns His Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2015's comic on:

Tags #work, #happiness, #balance, #job, #contentment, #goal, #opposition, #oppose, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.

Strategy To Get What You Deserve

Thank you for voting.
Strategy To Get What You Deserve - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2015's comic on:

Tags #Promotion, #recognition, #strategy, #business, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.

Dilbert Characters

Strategy Document

Thank you for voting.
Strategy Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2016's comic on:

Tags #strategy, #obliviousness, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.

Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile

Thank you for voting.
Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2018's comic on:

Tags #nimble, #agile, #logic, #questioning, #strategy, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our strategy is to be nimble and agile. Dilbert: Do other companies have a strategy of being clumsy and slow? Catbert: How'd the new strategy rollout go? Boss: They ruined it with questions.

Lack Of Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2019's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?

Old Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2020's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #business, #strategy, #products, #sell, #fair, #price, #new

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #contracts, #relations between the sexes, #Women, #ignorantly signed, #legal strategy, #affadavit, #attractive women, #have cooties

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."