Counselor Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Counselor

View 1 - 10 results for counselor comic strips. Discover the best "Counselor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #plastic surgery, #personalities, #bad, #pretend, #other, #communicate, #begging, #trouble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1995's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #too stressful, #company counselor, #re engineered, #counseling process, #cover sand

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee sits in Catbert's office. The man says, "My job is too stressful. Can I see a company counselor?" As he plays with the ball of string on his desk, Catbert replies, "I re-engineered our counseling process. Now we put you in a big hole and cover you with sand." The man stands in the hole while Catbert kicks sand onto him. The employee says, "If this is my only benefit I'd better get a LOT of sand!" Catbert says, "Just keep your mouth open."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1996's comic on:

Tags #career advice, #career counselor, #seek advice, #sounds lazy, #unhelpful, #work hard, #insecure people, #self relaint

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. Dogbert says, "I'm going to try my paw at being a career counselor." Dogbert continues, "Insecure people will seek my advice and I'll tell them to be more self-reliant." Dilbert says, "That sounds lazy and unhelpful." Dogbert asks, "Would you want career advice from somebody who has to work hard?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2001's comic on:

Tags #understaffed, #over worked, #stress counselor, #another manager, #massage, #meeting, #alice, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits looking frazzled as the Boss says, "You're understaffed and overworked." Two people appear behind the Boss as he continues, "So I hired a stress counselor and another manager to glare at you." The stress counselor massages the Boss' back and says, "Relax...Deep breaths...There..." The manager stands over Alice glaring at her.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2006's comic on:

Tags #animals in human situations, #career, #criticism, #jobs, #pet ownership, #counselor, #pity

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Counselor Woman: And why did you leave your last job? Dilbert: My dog was tired of hearing me whine about my job, so he became a billionaire and bought my company and fired me. Woman: I don't have a checkbox for that so I'll just write in "loser".

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2007's comic on:

Tags #career counselor, #something you love, #not working, #loserish, #bowling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, career counselor Dogbert: "Do something you love." Ted: "I love not working." Dogbert: "Do you have any loves that are any less loserish?" Ted: "I love to watch bowling!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2007's comic on:

Tags #career counselor, #no marketable talent, #keep positive, #not going to change, #unemployable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, career counselor DOgbert: "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2007's comic on:

Tags #career counselor, #flower arranging, #billionaire, #work hard, #defeat purpose, #no work, #doesn't want to work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, career counselor "What would you like to do with your degree in...flower arranging?" "I'd like to be a billionaire." "Are you willing to work hard?" "That would sort of defeat the purpose."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #visualization, #exercises, #beautiful, #sunset, #cliff, #bob, #ocean

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man and a woman. Dogbert says, "I'd like to try some visualization exercises." Dogbert continues, "Imagine the two of you watching a beautiful sunset, you're on a cliff overlooking the ocean . . ." The man closes his eyes, holds out his arms, smiles, and thinks, "Shove." Dogbert says, "Bob, try not to get ahead of me."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #marriage, #counselor, #fight, #squeeze, #tube, #toothpaste, #empty, #rug, #bottom, #hog, #blankets, #snort, #animal, #behavior, #pig

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert listens as a patient says, "We have a running fight over how to squeeze the tube of toothpaste." A man who is sitting next to a woman who looks like a pig says, "I like to squeeze it from the bottom. She prefers to empty the tube on the rug and roll around in it." Dogbert asks, "At night, does she 'hog' the blankets and snort?" The man replies, "Wow, it's like you know her."