Crash Test Dummies Comic Strips
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189 Results for Crash Test Dummies
View 1 - 10 results for crash test dummies comic strips. Discover the best "Crash Test Dummies" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 07,
1994
Tags #crash test dummies, #dilbert gets political, #dinner party, #gourmet cooking
Transcript
dilbert gets political Dilbert: Id love to have you and whats her face come to my little dinner party. Dilbert: I like to do a little gourmet cooking...when I'm not raising money to battle unpopular diseases. Carol: Is it just me or are the other guest crash dummies? Dilbert: Its just you.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday July 21,
1997
Tags #agenda, #ubr, #first job, #crash dummies, #spent a fortune, #unfocused boss rambling
Transcript
Dilbert passes out paper to The Boss and Wally. The boss has a pencil and Wally has a coffee mug. Dilbert says, "Here's the agenda. The first hour will be U.B.R., as usual." The Boss sits at the conference table with Wally and Alice. He says, "This reminds me of my first job, before crash test dummies were popular. man, I spent a fortune on aspirin." Alice asks Dilbert, who has his feet up on the table, "What exactly is U.B.R.?" Dilbert answers, 'Unfocused Boss Rambling. Only 58 minutes to go."
Sunday July 02,
2017
Tags #cpr, #bragging, #braggart, #ego, #one-up, #storytelling, #exaggeration
Transcript
Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?
Saturday May 13,
2017
Failing The Robot Test
Tags #sentience, #robot, #human, #artificial intelligence, #turing test, #voting, #ignorance
Transcript
Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.
Monday October 22,
2018
Catbert Personality Test
Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability
Transcript
Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.
Tuesday October 08,
2019
Test Device Analogy
Tags #office workers, #technology, #power drill, #test, #device, #analogy, #office
Transcript
dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!
Thursday March 24,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #meetings, #test script, #prodcut
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."
Tuesday May 17,
2011
Tags #test phase, #meeting, #desk, #production phase, #being smart, #good feeling, #confident, #business
Transcript
Dilbert:you scheduled the end of the test phase after the start of the production phase. we're feeling confident. Dilbert: ist too bad that being smart doesn't come with some sort of good feeling like that.
Wednesday January 19,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money
Transcript
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."
Monday February 14,
2011
Tags #media, #take pledge, #give fortune to charity, #billionaires, #200 million, #leave to heir, #semi relayed, #monkey dna, #clones test tube, #Entertainment
Transcript
CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.