Crazy Mess Comic Strips
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99 Results for Crazy Mess
View 1 - 10 results for crazy mess comic strips. Discover the best "Crazy Mess" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 30,
2004
Tags #Wally, #hits on hire, #crazy mess, #problems, #asks to move in, #wants dinner
Transcript
wally: "Your life is a rolling disaster, so I figure I should ask you for a date." "I'm hoping that the source of your problem is that you consistently make poor choices." "Maybe you could buy some groceries and make me a nice dinner." "Would you like to move in with me?"
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Saturday May 05,
2012
Tags #conversation, #bad habit, #misinterpreting, #bad mouthing, #too paranoid, #sounds crazy
Transcript
Co-worker 1: So, Dilbert, what else are you working on lately? Dilbert: I'd rather not say because you have a habit of misinterpreting everything you hear and then bad-mouthing it later. Co-worker 1: He basically said he's too paranoid to talk to people. Co-worker 2: He sounds crazy.
Sunday May 20,
2012
Tags #mental health, #crazy thought, #witness, #conference room, #fresh heck, #sadist, #sociopath
Transcript
Dilbert: Wait. Hold that crazy thought. I need to get a witness in the room. Alice, would you mind coming to the conference room for a minute? Alice: What fresh heck is this? Dilbert: Larry is a sadist and a sociopath, but he hides it when there's more than one witness. So, Larry, what do you think of my project? Coworker: It looks great! I'll be happy to help you in any way I can! Alice: Am I done here? Dilbert: Don't turn your back!
Tuesday June 01,
1993
Friday November 01,
1996
Tags #alice crazy, #can't complain, #screen saver, #wally clipping nails, #made recording, #alice, #wally annoying sounds
Transcript
Alice sits at her desk listening to sounds coming over the cubicle wall. She clenches her teeth and thinks, "Oh, no . . . It's the maddening sound of Wally clipping his nails." Alice thinks, "The sound makes me crazy, but I can't complain because it would sound silly. Must . . . Wait . . ." Dilbert stands behind Wally and asks, "You made your own screen saver?" Wally replies, "It's called 'Wally's 101 Annoying Cubicle Sounds.'" The sound of slurping comes from his computer.
Wednesday March 08,
2000
Tags #cancel others, #crazy ideas, #one you of ten, #research projects, #research and development
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss: "One out of ten research and development projects will succeed." He continues: "I recommend cancelling the other nine." Sitting at lunch with his co-workers, Wally says: "I wonder where he gets all these crazy ideas."
Tuesday February 20,
2001
Tags #positive reinforcement, #addicted, #wearing off, #crazy woman, #drool, #lunch room, #boss words
Transcript
Dilbert, Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I experienced something called positive reinforcement today." Alice continues, "I'm addicted to it now... But it's wearing off... Must get more..." Alice says, "Say something nice about me!" Dilbert chews his lunch as Wally says, "For a crazy woman you don't drool much."
Wednesday November 14,
2001
Tags #pulls knife, #pleasure to meet, #psycho hillbilly, #crazy old coot, #network design engineers
Transcript
The psycho hillbilly raises his knife at Asok and says, "Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you." Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Asok says, "You look like a psycho hillbilly" The hillbilly replies, "Thank you very much." The hillbilly continues, "We network design engineers like to dress with a theme." Asok asks, "May I call you crazy old coot?"
Friday March 21,
2003
Tags #user requirements, #build system, #some actual work, #crazy talk
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a client. Dilbert says, "I'll design the system as soon as you give me the user requirements." The client responds, "Better yet, you could build the system, then I'll tell your boss that it doesn't meet my needs." Dilbert says, "I don't mean to frighten you, but you'll have to do some actual work." The client responds, "That's crazy talk."
Monday August 25,
2003
Tags #everyones opinion, #Advice, #best job, #crazy ideas, #mental, #psychology
Transcript
The boss: "I'll get everyone's opinion, and then I'll make my decision." Alice: "Translation: you'll take the advice of whoever does the best job of trash-talking everyone else." The Boss: "Where do you get these crazy ideas?" Dilbert: "She's mental."