Search Results for "creatures"
Share December 09, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "God spoke to me today. He appointed me ruler of all creatures on earth." Dilbert replies, "God did NOT speak to you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "It was worth a shot."
Share May 28, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a chair and Dogbert the Frog sits next to him. Dogbert says into the telephone, "Hello . . . Buckingham Palace? I was wondering if the Princess would be willing to kiss a frog and remove a witch's curse for us." Dogbert says into the phone, "Oh . . . Lady Di does not kiss hideous little creatures . . ." Dogbert says, "That must be mighty awkward at family reunions . . . Hello?" Dilbert covers his eyes.
Share December 30, 1995's comic on:
The caption says, "Correction." Dogbert sits behind a desk saying, "A recent Dilbert strip used the words 'ant farm' to describe a habitat for ants." Dogbert continues, "Lawyers have informed me that 'ant farm' is a trademark of 'Uncle Milton Industries, Inc.' They demand a public clarification." Dilbert asks, "What SHOULD we call a habitat for worthless and disgusting little creatures?" Dogbert replies, "Law school."
Share September 03, 1989's comic on:
The caption says, "To the ancients it was known as the 'Time of Degauss.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The caption says, "Every thousand years, the animal magnetism of domesticated creatures reverses." Dogbert's ears fly up. The caption says, "The result can be catastrophic . . ." Silverware flies out of a drawer and the toaster flies off the shelf. The caption says, ". . . Or dogastrophic." Dogbert runs away from the flying metal objects that are attracted by his magnetism. Dogbert runs through Dilbert's legs. The caption says, "Soon the field stabilizes, and the threat is forgotten." The silverware pins Dilbert to the wall. Dogbert says, "That reminds me - what's for supper tonight?"
Share March 25, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a brick wall. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I dream of a kinder world . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Trouble . . ." Dogbert continues, "A world where all creatures live in peace and harmony . . ." Dogbert continues, "Where nobody pursues retribution for some tiny little misdeed." Dilbert thinks, "Big trouble." Dogbert continues, "Where bygones are bygones . . . Forgive and forget . . ." Dilbert shouts, "Stop it! Stop it! Please just tell me what horrible thing you've done!" Dilbert runs away screaming. Dogbert says, "You know, studies have shown that people with pets live happier, less stressful lives."
Share May 18, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "With all this talk of 'diversity' there's no mention of the pain we smart creatures endure while surrounded by dolts." Dilbert says, "Good point. I don't know how we do it." Dogbert walks away saying, "It looks like I'll have to hold secret meetings." Dilbert says, "Yeah, our lives are a constant struggle."
Share July 11, 1997's comic on:
Roxanne, the cute girl, and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "As much as I like the petting, I still have to break up with you, Roxanne." Roxanne says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "Humans are kind intelligent, well-adjusted creatures, until you get to know them." Roxanne screams, "May the horned demons of Ixpah smite you like the last six!!!" Dogbert walks away and says, "This is what I'm talking about."
Share April 11, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert's journal entry says, "A small band of the creatures were known to live high in an artificial structure." The panel shows an office building. Dogbert's journal says, "On my way to study them I took note of the native vegetation." Dogbert stands in an office wearing a backpack. He feels a potted plant and thinks, "Rented." His journal says, "The younger males were at play. They became self-conscious when watched." Dogbert watches a man playing computer games. Dogbert's journal says, "The dominant male had a gray back. He controlled the others by waving little envelopes." The Boss waves paychecks at the employees and they bow to him. Dogbert's journal says, "There were few females in the group. The less dominant males had no chance of mating." Dilbert and Wally watch a woman walk past them. Dogbert's journal syas, "Unlike other species they head no instinct for grooming." A man asks, "Want to groom?" Wally replies, "Drop dead." The journal says, "My time was up, but I will miss them, those . . ." Dogbert walks toward the elevator. The journal concludes, "Engineers in the mist." Wally asks Dilbert, "How long are you supposed to microwave popcorn?"
Share April 03, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and says into a video camera, "This is Dogbert, Master of Earth, with a message to all creatures . . ." There is a satellite dish on the desk. A man and woman sit on their couch holding Dogbert signs and watching television. Dogbert says on tv, "I realized that you are all unworthy of having me as your king. I am retiring to go sit on a soft pillow." Dogbert lies on his pillow listening to the radio. Dogbert thinks, "No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it."
Share July 01, 1997's comic on:
Ratbert and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Ratbert says, "if the goal of all creatures is to be happy... and I'm happier than you are..." Ratbert continues, "We can conclude that I'm more successful than you are. Isn't that right?" Dilbert looks angry. Dilbert says, "You are REALLY starting to annoy me now." Ratbert says, "The gap widens. Yes!" and pumps his arm in victory.