Creepy Personal Questions Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

396 Results for Creepy Personal Questions

View 1 - 10 results for creepy personal questions comic strips. Discover the best "Creepy Personal Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2010's comic on:

Tags #customer support, #customer service, #rodent, #talk on phone, #creepy personal questions, #waste of time, #refund

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert's customer support Ratbert says, "You're speaking to a powerless rodent." Ratbert says, "My job is to prevent you from getting to anyone who is authorized to give refunds." Ratbert says, "I'd like to begin by asking you some creepy personal questions."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1999's comic on:

Tags #dogbert consults, #eliminate phone support, #via internet, #discourage people, #ominous list, #personal questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert Consults" Sogbert stands on the boss's desk. DOgbert says, "Eliminate phone support for your product. Provide help only via the internet." Dogbert's tail wags and he says, "Then discourage people by making them answer an ominous list of personal questions." Man looks terrified in front of his computer the computer screen reads, "1. What is your home address? 2. When do you shower?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1995's comic on:

Tags #business case, #various mangers, #being misplaced, #kill for personal gain, #buried, #not cremeated, #lasting impression, #earth, #mail corpse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "Today I distributed 36 copies of my business case to various managers for approval." Dilbert sits on the armrest of the couch and continues, "By my count, 20 are being misplaced, 6 managers will try to kill it for personal gain and 10 will come back with irrelevant questions." Dilbert says, "When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can at least make ONE lasting impression on the earth." Dogbert says, "I was planning to mail your corpse to somebody I don't like."

Answering Questions In Email

Thank you for voting.
Answering Questions In Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #male employee, #email, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.

Dumb Questions

Thank you for voting.
Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #insults, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #questions, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's brainstorm, and remember, there are no dumb questions, only dumb bosses. Boss: Was that necessary? Dilbert: I stand corrected: There is at least one dumb question.

Dilbert Characters

Personal Health Data

Thank you for voting.
Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2020's comic on:

Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #information overload, #libertarian, #taxidermist, #hand hole, #work, #like puppet, #creepy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2011's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #fraternization, #friends with ghots, #ghandi, #ghost personal page, #ghosts, #heaven, #internet & world wide web, #llincoln, #satellite pictures, #social media, #social network, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2011's comic on:

Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #surveillance, #security, #employee locator device, #smarthone, #questions, #text to yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2011's comic on:

Tags #writing, #writing systems, #press relese, #vp of engineering, #personal resons, #speculate, #bieber fever, #write fiction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, all I wanted you to say in the press release is that our VP of engineering is leaving for personal reasons. You didn't need to speculate on the reasons. Let's lost the part about "Bieber Fever." Tina: Everyone thinks it's easy to write fiction.