Critical Comic Strips
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43 Results for Critical
View 1 - 10 results for critical comic strips. Discover the best "Critical" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 04,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #critical, #first, #sound, #date, #little man, #attached, #back, #co-worker, #successful, #pressure
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at a woman's door carrying flowers. Floyd is still attached to Dilbert's back. The woman says, "I don't mean to sound critical on a first date, but there's a little man attached to your back." Dilbert says, "That's Floyd. He's a co-worker who survives by sharing the success of others." The woman asks, "What if you're not successful?" Dilbert replies, "He'll die. But hey, no pressure."
Saturday February 13,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #critical, #third, #date, #casually, #mention, #hidden, #deformities, #horrible, #secrets, #dating, #mob boss
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks, "This is it . . . The critical third date." Dilbert thinks, "This is when they casually mention any hidden deformities or horrible secrets to see if you still like them." The woman says, "Some people say you should stop dating after you marry a mob boss."
Monday June 13,
1994
Tags #emergency assignment, #critical, #moot, #crisis, #moots
Transcript
"EMERGENCY ASSIGNMENT!! URGENT! URGENT!" "It's only critical because everything sits on your desk until it either becomes moot or a crisis." "From now on, I'm giving him the moots." "Aging" "Crises" "Moot"
Thursday January 26,
1995
Tags #form a vidion, #concept for requirements, #startman, #mission critical, #functions, #quality vectors, #fine line, #participation, #and mockery
Transcript
The Boss sits at a conference table with Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "Maybe we could form a vision statement of our concepts for requirements." Wally says, "Or maybe we can bound our strawman by the mission-critical functions of our quality vector!" As they walk away, Dilbert says to Wally, "You're shameless." Wally responds, "There's a fine line between participation and mockery."
Friday December 08,
1995
Tags #critical system, #all the power, #essential upgardes, #simple fool, #next emplyee, #vendor issues, #compatibility
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk and says to Wally, "It's funny - before your company bought that critical system from me, YOU had all the power . . ." Dogbert yells, "But now, only I can provide essential upgrades!! I call the shots, you simple fool!!" Dogbert says, "Send in the next employee." Outside the cubicle Dilbert and another employee are standing in line holding numbers. The man says, "At least we don't have any multi-vendor compatibility issues."
Wednesday January 31,
1996
Tags #critical code, #air traffic control, #gifted programmer, #payroll system, #dont fly, #pay day
Transcript
Wally sits at his desk and thinks, "Wally writes the critical code for our nation's new air traffic control system. The crowd is silent." Wally thinks, "Suddenly the gifted programmer employs a rarely seen strategy of 'code reuse.' The crowd goes wild." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit a table eating lunch. Dilbert asks Wally, "So you used code from the payroll system?" Wally replies, "Here's a tip: don't fly on pay day."
Saturday April 12,
1997
Tags #critical, #dept phone list, #list alphabetically, #sort phone number
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the secretary's desk and says, "Carol, I don't mean to be critical about the department phone list you put together . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it's traditional to list people alphabetically, not sorted by phone number." Dilbert asks, "Because what possible use . . .?" Carol's telephone rings. She looks at the display and says, "Incoming call from . . . Let's see . . . It's Wally . . . I can ignore it."
Monday June 09,
1997
Tags #applying critical thinking, #children teaching, #critical thinking, #end of story, #father, #Parenting, #park bench, #right and wrong, #teach children, #Family
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a man in a sweat suit. The man says, "I teach my kids that these things are right and these things are wrong. Period. End of story." Dogbert asks, "Wouldn't that teach them to believe anything they're told without applying any critical thinking?" The man replies, "I don't think about that." Dogbert says, "Duh."
Saturday November 28,
1998
Tags #chief financial offcier, #one sentence descriptions, #projects, #critical budget deciosns, #semi colons
Transcript
Caption: "Chief Financial Officer" The moron sits between Dilbert and the Boss. The moron says, "I need one-sentence descriptions of each of your projects." Dilbert says, "You're planning to make critical budget decisions based on THAT? " The Moron says, "Yes." Wally stands behind Dilbert who sits at his computer. Wally says, "Wow. Five pages without using a period." Dilbert says, "Thank God for semi-colons."
Saturday February 20,
1999
Tags #desk for month, #critical, #back of pile
Transcript
The boss sits at his desk with a huge pile of papers in front of him. The boss thinks, "This one has been on my desk for a month it's critical." The boss thinks, "I'll stick it back in the pile and see if that helps." The boss thinks, "Yes, I feel better already."